Thoughts On a Subway

VERY Exciting News!!

2008-11-20T22:29:00.003-05:00

Hi, everyone! Happy (almost) Friday!! Is it just me, or has this week felt strange to anyone? I can't quite put my finger on it, but something was just off this week. I've stopped caring to try and figure it out though, and right now I'm just focusing on the weekend.

That said, I have some very exciting news!! You ready? Ok, are you sitting down? . . .
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SUBWAY GAL IS MOVING!!!

YES! You heard correctly. "Thoughts On a Subway" is moving to a new and improved home! Ya see, I've joined a new blog featuring a group of four other fabulous twenty-something year-old lady bloggers like this one, and that one. All of our blogs now live on separate pages on one site. Make sense?

So by now you are probably asking yourself, "So, what does this mean to me?"

Well, it means that you will not only have access to my blog posts, but you will also have the option to check out theirs too. Trust me, you will love it. Starting Monday, when you visit subwaygal.blogspot.com, you will be automatically re-directed to the new site. Soooooooo, make sure you update your blog rolls! I'm really excited about the new site, and eager to hear what you think too, so be sure to leave me some feedback.

Until then . . . HAVE A HAPPY FRIDAY AND A FABULOUS WEEKEND!

MTA Plans to Make Commute Even More Awful for Commuters

2008-11-19T10:45:00.005-05:00

Yesterday, I stumbled upon this article announcing that the MTA has a budget crisis (like everyone and every company lately - Thanks, Mr. Bush!) and to help amend it, the MTA is planning to not only cut jobs, but also subway lines, thereby making the already crowded trains and slow service, even more crowded and slower.

Ride the M, Z, G or W line? Well, your SOL because the MTA is expected to get rid of the W and Z lines, and cut service on the G and M lines. However, I'm sure you are all happy to know that this does not affect me personally, but still, it sucks.

They haven't announced it yet, but I'm sure we will be getting another fare hike soon too - Crowded trains? Slow service? Of course it makes sense to raise prices!! Sigh . . .

An update on what exactly will be happening is expected tomorrow. Stay tuned! (and hope for the best)

Happy Humpday!

I'm Rick James, b*tch!

2008-11-18T09:17:00.002-05:00

Imagine my delight when my I was flipping through the TV stations with my boyfriend and our friend this weekend and we stumbled upon "Chappelle's Show." Well, imagine my even greater delight upon realizing that it was the Rick James/Charlie Murphy episode!

For those of you not familiar with "Chappelle's Show" (I got on the fan base a little too late too - actually, his show was long over by the time I started watching), or those who haven't seen this video, it is hands-down one of the funniest things you will ever see. Unfortunately, I couldn't find the whole episode, but I was able to find this hysterical scene.

Happy Tuesday! Enjoy!

The polls are closed, and the results are in!!

2008-11-16T17:55:00.002-05:00

Thanks to everyone who took my last poll. Not surprisingly, half of you (though, I'm not sure why not all of you), would like the opportunity for personal space. Half of you also wanted a buffet breakfast on the subway. I would like that too, though I'm not sure I could ever really trust food cooked on the subway, where homeless people sleep.

Anyway, I've posted a new poll, so please take it!

In other news, I'm pretty sure I have an online shopping addiction. In the past 48 hours I have made purchases on Victoria's Secret's site, some online bookstore site so I could buy a new college sweatshirt, and ohnuts.com because I'm addicted to gourmet jelly beans.

A night at Barcadia

2008-11-16T17:29:00.005-05:00

Last night, my boyfriend and I went out with some of his friends to celebrate one of his college friend's birthdays at a place in Brooklyn called Barcadia. The way my boyfriend described this place I expected to be in a casino-like place lined with video games and waiters taking your drink order. Well, imagine my surprise when instead I was surrounded by boys wearing beanies, and shirts that are small and faded, and skinny jeans that were tighter than my skinny jeans. It was a mix of your average nerds, hippies and skaters. As you might imagine, I was very much out of my element. What's worse, there was one, sometimes two, bartenders, which made getting a drink nearly impossible. In fact, every time I tried to order a drink, it seemed like the bartender was serving everyone except me. When I finally was able to get the bartender's attention, I ordered a white zinfandel. "A zinfan who?," the bartender asked. "What kind of white wine do you have?," I asked. "Chardonnay, and, uhhhh," he began. "Chardonnay! A chardonnay is fine," I said. But as it turns out, the chardonnay was not fine. It tasted like rubbing alcohol. This place was supposedly known for its beer, so I ditched the chardonnay and ordered a Raspberry stout, expecting a light, sweet beer. What I got was vomit-inducing. The beer was dark and disgusting. I tried to give the beer to several others, but they all had one sip and passed. So I ditched that beer and got a merlot. That merlot also tasted like rubbing alcohol. At this point we ditched the bar and walked to the diner where I just had coffee.

How was your weekend?

My new Obsession

2008-11-12T22:20:00.002-05:00

Kevin McKidd. New doc on Grey's Anatomy. And my new obsession. What can I say, I have a thing for red heads ;)

The best parts of the day

2008-11-10T22:01:00.005-05:00

Today I realized that my favorite part of the weekday, aside from finally coming home at the end of it and seeing boyfriend and my super-cute kitties, is the 35 minutes I have to myself to read in the morning on my way in to work on the subway, in a seat because I'm one of the first stops, and the 35 minutes I have to myself to read on the ride home. I find this realization a bit sad. Call me crazy, but is the rest of my day so awful that the best part of it is reading. By myself? Work isn't awful, it's just that I'm filled with anxiety throughout most of it, especially today. I was afraid of going into cardiac arrest all day. Is this not normal? Someone tell me they know what I mean and that this has happened to you before? Ok, so maybe I'm a little crazy, but what do you think the best and worst parts of the day are??

The results are in!!

2008-11-09T21:31:00.002-05:00

The votes have all been tallied, and survey says . . .

50 percent of you would like to see prostitutes on the subways. You sick f*cks! What is wrong with you?? Haven't you thought of the children that ride the subway? THE CHILDREN! Has anybody thought of the children???

Anyway, this "improvement" to the subways was followed closely by faster and cleaner service, which was not surprising. What was surprising however, was that 25 percent of you would like to hear "The Best of Bette Midler" playing in the background in the subway cars. I'm not quite sure I understand this one. Don't get me wrong, I love love love "Wind Beneath My Wings" and all because it reminds me of "Beaches," which is a great movie, but there isn't much more I love of hers besides that song.

Anyway, I'm posting a new poll, so make sure you take it and force all your friends to take it too! ;)

Happy Friday!

2008-11-07T13:18:00.004-05:00

Happy Friday, everyone! I feel like the week flew by, which is probably due to all the excitement over the election. I don't really care how it happened; I'm just glad that it did and now we can prepare for the weekend!! And, to make things even better, I had a pretty drama-free subway commute to and from work this week. There was almost an incident on the subway this morning when the girl seated next to me kept bumping into me and invading what little personal space I had when the train stopped or started. But, it was early, I was sedated, and so I kept my cool. Progress? I certainly think so.

I'm going to see "Zack and Miri Make a Porno" tonight because boyfriend and I are big fans of comedies, especially ones that feature Seth Rogen. Has anyone seen this movie yet? Thoughts?

What are your plans for the weekend?

It's . . .

2008-11-04T23:12:00.004-05:00

a beautiful daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!

Obama was projected the winner of the election and MSNBC is showing shots across the country of tons of people gathering in the streets celebrating. It reminds me of New Years Eve. In fact, I keep expecting my phone to ring and for it to be my mom with her usual Happy New Years! call. Today is not New Years Eve, but today is HISTORIC. We are going to look at our grandkids' textbooks one day and be all like, "I was just a lad when the first black president was elected," because you've recently acquired a Scottish accent, and by this point there have been like 5 other black presidents since then. Anyway, this is big. HUGE. Rachel Maddow is tearing up. This is truly a beautiful day.

Halloween Subway Gal-Style

2008-11-03T14:50:00.004-05:00

Happy (not really) Monday!! Is everyone fully recovered from Halloween weekend and ready to get back to work?! Me neither.

So, how was your Halloween? What did you dress up as? Call me the Halloween scrooge, but I, myself, am not much of a fan of the "holiday," but every year someone has a party, and this year was no different. I don't have the desire to go that extra mile and come up with really cool costume, so, instead, I buy, and this year my boyfriend and I were prisoners. Not very original, but I assure you we looked very good. By far, the best looking convicts I've ever seen. Not that I've seen any, except for on TV.

On the train out to the party we were headed to on Long Island, it was dead quiet. That is, until the end of the train ride when a rather loud, and, I'm assuming, very drunk man starting talking into his cell phone and kept using different variations of the sentence, "You know I respect you and your woman." For hims look and tone of voice, I had a feeling he was involved in some type of mafia work. I was thinking of saying something rude when we got off the train until he muttered something amusing about our costumes to me and my boyfriend as we got off the train and I thought, since he is being nice, why be mean? Progressive thinking on my part? I certainly think so.

The night was fun and we got to see our friends in their way-more exciting costumes, except for one friend of ours who simply threw on a ski mask or two and called himself a rapist, but I was exhausted and decided to take the 12:30 a.m. train home. I guess I must have been a bit more tipsy than I thought because I also got into a totally-unnecessary fight with my boyfriend where I started yelling like an escaped mental patient and even tested some of my cardio-kickboxing skills, leaving him with a black-and-blue on his thigh (sorry, boyfriend!). Some of you might be reading this in absolute horror right now, but for those of you who know me, this is typical Subway Gal behavior ;)

A Not-So-Hott Mess

2008-10-30T10:29:00.003-04:00

Imagine my horror when I happened to look up from the book I was reading this morning on the subway and discovered a very tall, kinda young (early 20s) girl standing by the door wearing a very tight, bright, lime-green shirt that just covered the flabby belly that was hanging over the waistline of the too-tight jeans. Unfortunately, the fabric wasn't spandexy (yes, I know that's not a real word) enough to cover the love handles pouring out from the sides of the shirt. All of this was topped off by a short, fuschia jacket that just covered below this girl's boobs. A bright-yellow belt was complimented by bright-yellow earrings and the entire ensemble was completed by silver ballet flats.

Now, I'm all for being creative and daring to set a new fashion trend, but no. Just no. This outfit was in no way shape or form a good idea. Especially so early in the morning.

Re: the picture - it's one of the first things that came up when I typed in "hot mess" into google images and I really liked it.

New Poll!

2008-10-27T23:06:00.002-04:00

The polls are closed and the verdict is!! . . . predictably, the majority of you think I'm sick in the head for considering licking a subway poll made of candy. Though I'm glad that some of you were brave enough to admit that you would consider if it you were drunk.

NEW POLL!!!

That's right, there's a new poll in the hizouse, so ch-ch-ch-check it ouuuuuuut!

Subway Improvements Coming Soon!!! . . . to one line only

2008-10-23T22:28:00.005-04:00

Okay, so I guess I've been kinda lazy this week, considering I haven't posted anything new since Monday, and allllllllllll (10-15) of you loyal readers must be dying for some new material. Well, I don't have any, which is why I thought I would blog about this article I saw on Newsday's Web site today.

Apparently, the MTA installed computer screens at one Brooklyn subway station showing where the next trains are on the L line. Then, if this new technology works, more screens may be installed in other stations along the L line. How nice for the L line! But WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER LINES?!?! Why does the L get all the love while the rest of the lines suffer?

I had always heard the the L train was the worst, but then I had to ride it one day this past summer and discovered that it is actually the best. The exact reasons why escape me now because, well, it's been a few months and, stuff . . . but I do remember being really impressed and awestruck. I'm glad that efforts have been made to improve the L train, but ENOUGH ALREADY! We get it, MTA. The L train is awesome, and it's obviously your favorite, but it would be nice if some of these fancy improvements were made on other lines like the R and the V that could use some serious help.

I'm just sayin . . .

Jaded New Yorkers

2008-10-20T12:00:00.003-04:00

This morning, after I got out of the subway and was headed to my office, I was offered an environmentally-friendly tote bag from a young girl. Instead of saying, "thanks!" and walking away, I paused for a moment and looked at the girl quizzically, and then looked down at the bag she was offering, and then back at the girl. Sensing my confusion, she explained that "it's just a bag." So I smiled, took the bag, muttered "thank you" and walked away. And indeed it was just a bag. In fact, it was a free bag from Lucky magazine, advertising its "Ultimate Shopping Party."

I could always use an extra tote bag to help save the word, so why was I so skeptical of accepting this small gift from this seemingly non-threatening young girl? I'll tell you why. It's because we, as New Yorkers, are skeptical of "free" gifts. We are so used to trying to dodge those people throwing fliers and coupons at us every day and being offer "free" samples that really aren't free, that we don't know how to react when we are offered something that is useful, and actually free.

Or, maybe it's not all New Yorkers who act this way and maybe it's just me being sleepy and paranoid on a Monday morning.

Ugly Betty

2008-10-18T22:18:00.004-04:00

So, I'm sitting here at 10:30 on Saturday night watching "Ugly Betty" on my DVR (because I'm super-cool like that) and I'm starting to wonder about Ugly Betty and why she always looks . . . the same. I mean, having worked at a fashion magazine for a few seasons, you would think she would have picked up some tips by now and started to dress better, and get a fashionable haircut, and wax her eyebrows, and get some contacts. But no. She stays exactly the same. I mean, look at Anne Hathaway in "The Devil Wears Prada." She went from a chunky, dumpy, college grad to a sexy, glamorous magazine assistant. I'm just sayin . . .

And what about her job? Ugly Betty is supposed to be the assistant to the editor of a huge fashion magazine and yet, I don't think I've ever seen her do any work.

And finally, let's give some credit to Judith Light. That woman, I think, just gets better with age. Seriously, who would have thought that Angela from, "Who's the Boss" would ever go on to get another job when that show ended? And now look at her! She's on a hit show and has made recurring guest appearances on such awesome shows as "Law and Order: SVU." I salute you, Judith Light. I hope one day to age as gracefully as you.

When a Failing Show and D-list Actor Collide

2008-10-15T22:03:00.006-04:00

BREAKING NEWS! Well, actually it's not exactly breaking because I heard a bout it hours ago, and the news doesn't really warrant a breaking news bulletin, but whatever. Remember when I blogged
about how James Van der Beek was a has-been but was set to do some upcoming movies? Well, today I learned from Perez that he is also joining the cast of the shiteous "One Tree Hill." Remember when I blogged about my conflicted feelings on that show because it was so terribly unrealistic, yet I continued to watch it out of a misplaced sense of loyalty?

Anyway, this is a recipe for disaster. A D-list actor joining a sinking ship of a show? For poor "OTH," this is the equivalent of getting a pink slip.

By the way, am I still the only one out there even still watching "OTH"??

Why I hate Tuesdays

2008-10-14T23:31:00.002-04:00

Ok, I know you're thinking, what the hell does a Madonna video have to do with you hating Tuesdays? Well, it actually has nothing to do with it, but I'm kinda obsessed with this song since I saw Madonna in concert this past weekend (yes, that's right. MADONNA. IN CONCERT. Be jealous) and she put on a great performance to this song. Well, she put on a great performance the whole show! But I digress . . .

So, you might be thinking, Why hate Tuesdays? Why not Mondays? Everyone hates Mondays. Yes, Mondays are awful. But that's a given. Everyone expects Mondays to be awful days. Anyway, Tuesdays are just a long, and, usually for me because I'm overly dramatic, stressful and upsetting day. Today was one of those days. It seemed like I was drowning in work and I got myself all upset for nothing because when I really looked at it, it wasn't all that bad. Then, on my way to the gym, I got on a subway with no seats. I take the local R home and there is always a seat when I get on at 49th. The only two free seats on the subway car this evening were covered in water. How this happened is beyond me. How do only two seats get wet? And why are there no signs of a flood? And why aren't there any paper towel dispensers on the subway?!

Once at the gym, I had the unfortunate experience of hopping on the only free eliptical machine next to a girl on her cell phone. I hate this. Like, I really hate this. You are at the gym. To work out. Go home and talk on the phone. I get that some people are insecure when they are alone in public. Hell, during my silly college days I once talked to my boyfriend-at-the-time while I was eating in a Burger King because I was way too self-conscious to be seen eating alone. But this is a gym. Most people are alone. In fact, it's ok to be alone. We know you have friends and you are popular and stuff, so you don't need to prove it by talking on the phone while you are working out. But, despite the nasty looks I kept throwing this girl's way, she chattered on. Fed up, I hopped off my eliptical to check the sign hanging on the mirror and sure enough, it said that cell phone use was prohibited. So, I said something along the lines of, "Excuse me, but the sign says cell phone use is prohibited in this area and it's really annoying." She looked at me in shock, probably not believing I was being that girl, and mumbled something to her friend on the other line, which I'm assuming was something along the lines of, "Some skinny bitch next to me is complaining about my cell phone use. I'll call you when she leaves." I know that may have been obnoxious of me to say something to her, but I had no headphones on and I wanted to relax and listen to the music playing in the gym. I pay way too much money to be a member of my gym and I expect to be able to have an enjoyable workout.

Anyway, the rest of the day ended nicely because when I went upstairs to my abs class, this nice guy in my class who talked to me once before, sparked up another conversation with me. I was really happy about this because I was afraid I had offended him the last time we spoke and he said he loves taking the spin class before our abs class, and I told him that I always wanted to try spinning, but since my old coworker used to swear by it and she was always fat, I wasn't convinced the class worked.

And finally, as a reward for making it to the end the long-ass day (I didn't get home until almost 9:30 p.m.!), I was rewarded with my fave, chicken quesidillas, for dinner :)

And that is why I hate Tuesdays. What's your least favorite day of the week?

2008-10-12T17:02:00.003-04:00

Okay, I get it. No one really liked my last poll because no one really knew, or cared who Lisa Bonet was. I apologize and I'll try not to let a sh*tty poll like that happen again. Anyway, I've posted a new poll so let's let bygones be bygones and try it again. I think you'll find this poll more to your liking.

Ode to the Coffee Cart

2008-10-10T08:53:00.009-04:00

Happy Friday, everyone!!! We've finally made it to the end of the week with our sanity, hopefully, still intact. Congratulations.

I would like to dedicate today's post to the people who help me start my day off on a good note. Coffee cart workers.

I don't know about you, but in the morning I want a large cup of regular coffee that costs $1.25, as opposed to a desert-like coffee drink from Starbucks that costs $4, and after my initial hesitancy to buy coffee from a mobile cart in the middle of the sidewalk, I now only buy my morning coffee from coffee carts. In fact, when I left my last job, I was most upset about that I wouldn't be able to say goodbye to my coffee cart guy (because I was laid off one day and never went back), and to this day I still feel bad about leaving him without so much as a goodbye . . .

Anyway, there is one middle-aged couple who serves me my coffee every morning on the corner of 6th Ave. and 52nd St., that I particularly enjoy. We have history you see, because when I first worked at my current company about a year ago (I left, went to two other firms and then came back) they used to serve me my coffee and when I came back, they still remembered me! It was like greeting a distant relative you haven't seen in awhile. What's great about them is that they are super-friendly and the wife often compliments me, usually on how thin I am, which of course, always makes me smile because with me, flattery gets you everywhere. Anyway, what I really love about this couple is that they have my order down pat! My coffee is already done and waiting for me by the time I get to the front of the line, and you really can't beat service like that.

So, today, take a minute and thank your favorite coffee cart worker for his/her great service. And, if you don't utilized the services of a coffee cart, I highly suggest you find one today. You won't be disappointed.

The worst seat on the subway

2008-10-07T09:16:00.002-04:00

As some of you know through experience, the worst seats on the subway are the ones next to the door. You know, the one with the bar shielding you from the flock of people entering or exiting the train. The bar that people, annoying people, like to lean on. I usually try to avoid this seat, but for some really crazy reason, I chose this seat on the subway this morning, although there were plenty others to choose from. I thoughtI'd be adventurous and give it another try. Big mistake. I immediately regretted my decision when what I assume was a teenager (I refuse to look up and make eye contact with people sitting or standing next to me on the subway) leaned against the bar with his elbows out so that I had the pleasure of one right next to my head. It was uncomfortably too close for my liking and I kept waiting to get elbowed in the head and have to cause a great big scene when I cried out in exaggerated pain. So, to avoid this situation, I kept playing with my hair, hoping my movement would deter him, but it did not. Finally, I put rested my arm on the bar so that he would have to move. It worked! But then my arm got tired and I moved it, and the annoying teenager moved back into position. I was relieved when he got off the subway, but that was short-lived when another guy took his place. And this guy had a backpack. These are the worst kinds of people because they treat their backpacks as if they are parts of their body - like a hump on their back that has every right to be there invading your personal space. Had it been later in the day when I was more awake and alert, I probably would have taken out my keys and started poking Backpack boy, but I controlled myself and kept quite. Kudos to me.

New poll!

2008-10-05T22:32:00.002-04:00

Thanks to everyone for taking my latest poll. It's good to know that most of you have ever been so hard up for cash that you had to resort to begging for it on the subway. However, for the one person who actually begs for cash once a month, please tell us about it. Did you make a lot of money? Did you use it to pay rent, or buy smack?

Anyway, I've just posted a new poll, so please check it out! It's actually quite random, but take it anyway, please.

No Drunken Antics at This Year's Irish Fest

2008-10-05T21:57:00.002-04:00

So, as you all remember because you read my blog religiously, I mentioned that I was going to Irish Fest in Long Beach, LI Saturday. I did. I also mentioned that I was probably going to be wasted and may or may not get into some fights. I did not. Here's what happened . . .

The train ride to Long Beach was painful. Thankfully, I had a hilarious book to distract me from the recent college grads sitting near us drinking from a paper bag (classy!) and getting increasily louder by the gulp. They were discussing things like how hungover they are from the night before when they puked all over their boyfriend's car. And they were saying things like, "When I was in college I wanted to either do PR in LA or work in an orphanage in Africa." I guessed that they lived in Murray Hill. Or the Upper East Side. But probably Murray Hill. You get the point. They were stupid. And drunk. A bad combination.

Next was the cab ride over to our friends' house. My boyfriend and I were crammed in a taxi van with me riding shotgun and him in the back. After we were all in, I pulled down the passenger-side mirror to make sure there wasn't anything embarrasing going on like some hairs out of place or lipstick on my teeth, when the cabdriver snapped, "Hey! Did I say you could use that!?" I stared, my mouth apage, and as I was deciding whether to spit in his face or apologize, he burst out laughing and then the rest of the passengers, clearly afraid by this mentaly unstable man, began laughing too. He was a comedian. Lucky us. He then proceeded to challenge every other cab driver he was stopped next to at a stop light, to a drag race in an effort, no doubt, to impress us. I was not impressed. And I don't think the old woman in the back remarking that she hoped our driver would be able to get us to our destination safely, was either.

Anyway, we got to our friends' house in one piece and were informed the party was across the street, so we chilled in some of their neighbors' apartments where I had a fascinating conversation with a guy who recently threw one of his tenants down a few flights of stairs resulting in over 100 stitches, and told me about the time he stabbed a man seven times in the back. I know, it doesn't sound charming, but I actually enjoyed talking to this man. I think it was his constant smile and his pretty baby blues.

I only had one beer when we all decided to check out the festival. All right!! Who doesn't love being drunk and eating greasy food while shopping for things like tee-shirts and silk flowers and homemade magnets that you definitely don't need but buy anyway? Especially if you're drunk! Well, imagine my disappointment when I discovered that laws were put into place prohibiting people from drinking in festivals. What the f*ck kind of stupid law is that? Probably some drunk guys (I'm assuming they were men) got too drunk one year, did some stupid sh*t and ruined it for all of us. What's worse is that all the beer was gone by the time we got back to the apartments. And on top of that, Auburn lost. And, on top of that, Taco Bell was closed by the time we got back home.

Happy Friday!

2008-10-03T09:06:00.003-04:00

We've made it!! It's finally Friday. WOO HOO!!

Tomorrow is Irish Fest on Long Beach, LI and I will be in attendance. During Irish Fests and St. Patrick's Day, everyone goes out partying, claiming to have some Irish in them. Well, not me! I'm certainly not Irish, but I like to think I can drink like them. The reason I'm telling you this is because it's almost inevitable (sorry, boyfriend) that tomorrow is going to be filled with some type of drama because me + alcohol = embarrassment for me and laughter/pity from others. Given the last time I went out (last Friday) I threw my drink, and my friend's (sorry Jen!) , at a pompous troll man who wasn't even from NY (he had the nerve to throw one back at me!), I can only imagine what tomorrow will hold. Hopefully I've learned from my mistakes and tomorrow will be fun. Only time will tell . . .

Have a great weekend and stay tuned for stories on my drunken antics!
- SG

Dear RCN,

2008-09-30T09:24:00.005-04:00

Dear, RCN.

Let me begin by saying that I hate you. My boyfriend and I were very excited about the Ravens playing the Steelers last night on Monday Night Football. We, my boyfriend especially, have been looking forward to this game for about a week. Come game time, we sat poised in front of the TV, football food (wings, mozzarella sticks, chicken poppers - alllllllll the healthy stuff) in hand only to discover that the TV WAS NOT WORKING PROPERLY. The picture and sound were choppy causing us to miss plays and commentary. We checked other channels and discovered that this was happening on EVERY channel. I immediately called your technicians to find out what the problem was, but I never got to speak with anyone. In fact, you had me on hold for OVER AN HOUR!!!!! telling me again and again how much you appreciate my patience, which I was quickly running out of, until you finally played an automated message informing me that NY and DC customers are experiencing problems and you are working to fix them, blah blah blah. Still, I waited on the line to discuss this problem with you further and find out why in god's name you kept me on hold for so long.

However, as we headed into halftime, I realized you were never going to answer my call, so, defeated, I hung up. The TV never returned to normal and the Ravens lost. I blame this on you too.

This morning, I turned on the TV to hear what "Mike & Mike" had to say about the game on ESPN, only to discover that the TV was still not fixed!

So, after I arrived at work this morning, I called you to complain. I was issued a measly $6 + change credit for my interrupted TV service, but when I asked to be compensated for my wasted phone minutes and my wasted time on the phone last night, I was refused. I was even transfered to a manger who was RUDE and kept calling me "ma'am," though I repeatedly told him I was far from a ma'am and that he should address me as "miss." Not surprisingly, this "manager" was anything but helpful and apparently someone higher-up at RCN will call me to discuss this problem further, though I doubt that will get me anywhere.

Anyway, what I am trying to say is that if it weren't for the management of my building forcing me to use RCN, I would switch to Time Warner in a flash. Your customer service sucks, RCN, and so does your technical service for that matter. I think it's time to throw in the towel and sell-out to a bigger, and better company.

All the best,
Subway Gal

New poll!

2008-09-28T17:51:00.002-04:00

Thanks to everyone for taking my last poll! While most of you have had the good fortune of not having to see a man's peen while riding public transportation, four of you said you have, including one person who claims to have punched said peen to teach the guy a lesson. Whoever you four, unfortunate people are, please share you stories with us in the comments below. We (I) are verrrrry curious.

Anyway, I've posted a new poll, so please take it. Thanks!

Carrot Top

2008-09-25T20:27:00.000-04:00

As I was walking to the subway this evening, I heard a man call out, "Hey Carrot Top!" I looked around expecting to see some poor red-headed kid with major insecurity issues from being the butt of everyone's red-headed jokes all his life, but I didn't see one. Instead, I saw, walking in front of me, a skinny man in, coincidentally, in a red ski cap, looking down and holding hands with a thin blond. Hmmmm, I wondered. Was this actually the Carrot Top in front of me? I quickened my step in order to get a better look at him and saw that it indeed, it was, the red-headed Z-list AT&T freak. What the hell was he doing with a thin, pretty blond? My guess is that she was a struggling "actress" trying to get her "in" into Hollywood by starting at the very bottom. Could she be that desperate? Couldn't she have a little self-respect? I don't know, I can only speculate. But, if I was a wannabe actress I could totally see myself trying to be Carrot Top's girlfriend in hopes of one day being the next Angelina. By the way, did you know Carrot Top is 43?!?! I thought he was in the ballpark of 28-33 years old. I just looked him up online and found that out. Who knew?

Now, as you know, I'm not big on talking politics, but did you see Katie Couric's interview with Sarah Palin? Are you kidding? I mean, the McCain-Palin campaign is actually asking the American people to let this woman be VP?

An Embarrassing Confession

2008-09-23T21:06:00.008-04:00

I've been debating whether I should do this, but I think it's time to come clean. I have something embarrassing to share with you all and I'd appreciate if, after hearing my embarrassing confession, you will keep an open mind and not judge me too harshly.

Last night, I watched the shitastic "One Tree Hill." And cried. I mean, tears streaming, nose sniffling, I went through five tissues, crying. Q died!! He was reformed!! And the cute little kid on the show adored him!! So, you get the point. It was all very sad and tragic and it moved me to tears. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?! I'm human for chrissakes! Yes, I know the actors are terrible and the storylines are incredibly unrealistic, but they sure do know how to do tragedy on that show.

I'm sure you can appreciate how embarrassing this little confession has been and you are probably wondering why I am still watching this show, or maybe even started watching it in the first place. I don't know. I started watching it in college with my roommate and we loved it. And after I graduated, the show began to spiral downward. Especially after we were expected to believe that a bunch of 22 year olds can run their own empires, get full-time teaching jobs in a great school district, run a record company and be famous writer. And, all these super 22 year olds just happen to be friends. Were the show's writers high when creating these storylines? Who knows. But I digress. I've continued to watch this shiteous show out of a sense of loyalty. I feel bad abandoning it after I've stuck with it for this long. But, if the CW unwisely decides to pickup this show for another season, I am done.

Something new

2008-09-21T21:11:00.001-04:00

New poll. It's a doozy. TAKE IT!!! Thanks :)

You Can't Have Your Subway and Eat it Too

2008-09-18T22:46:00.004-04:00

Does that headline even make sense? I thought it did in my head, but looking at it on the screen now I'm not so sure. Hmmm. Oh well. Anyway, today my coworker told me that on her way home yesterday she grabbed a salad before getting on the subway, and once on the subway began to eat her salad. She said she thought the people next to her were pissed but she insisted that she was starving, so it was a special circumstance. She asked me my thoughts on the situation and I told her that if I saw someone eating on the subway I would most definitely be giving them evil looks. It especially pisses me off when someone brings Chinese food on the subway and it stinks up the whole car. Know what I'm talking about? It's disgusting. Anyway, I also told her that if I saw her eating on the subway I wouldn't care, and, in fact, I would be giving nasty looks to the people giving her nasty looks. Double standard? Most definitely, but I won't apologize for it. You know you would do the same thing.

So, after all this talk about eating on the subway, you ask, "Subwaygal, why do you have an 'after' photo of Jared the Subway guy attached do this post?" Well, when I typed "eating on a subway" into Google Images I got a bunch of images of this guy, and some of which were his "before" picture. I forgot what he looked like before he went on the Subway diet and he was faaaaaaaaaaat.

BTW, just saw a commercial for the season premier of "Grey's Anatomy" and it looks AMAZING!!! I am sooooooooo excited! The drama is going to be in-tense. I heard that pathetic nurse that Derek hooked up with a few times is pregnant with his child. But fear not! Shonda gave us her word already that Meredith and Derek will be together. Finally!!!

New York Compassion

2008-09-17T20:46:00.008-04:00

On the way to my apartment this evening, I passed a man passed out on the sidewalk. He didn't appear to be homeless, though who am I to judge, so I'm not sure what he was up to. Was he dead? Was he passed out drunk? I don't know, and apparently no one cares because everyone, including me, just walked passed him. And I live in Queens remember, so strange looking men sleeping on sidewalks is definitely not an every day occurrence. I considered calling the cops, but what would I say? A man is possibly dead or just passed out on the sidewalk? What if I'm jumping to conclusions and he simply wanted to take a nap outside under the stars. I guess we'll never know, but if he's still there in the morning I'm calling the cops.

On the way to my apartment yesterday evening, I passed two large men yelling at each other in front of the new doughnut store in my neighborhood in a language I didn't recognize and punching each other in the head. I'd never seen a real-life brawl before (except the one I was engaged in at a bar my senior year in college over a guy - long story) and I was kinda excited. These two men had drawn quite the crowd when one hit the other and he went down and the other guy went running down the block. With one shoe on. Gotta love the free entertainment.

Why I hate the E train

2008-09-17T20:46:00.004-04:00

In an effort to get home faster today after a long day at work, I hopped on the E train across the street from my office. Big mistake. I've said it before and I'll say it again, the E train sucks! I loathe it.

I knew it was gonna be a battle to get home as soon as I walked into the station and saw the platform backed up with several rows of people waiting for the train to arrive. If there were this many people waiting here at the 7th Ave. stop, imagine how many people were waiting at all the stations before us, I wondered. Well, imagine my delight when the train finally arrived and I saw it was packed with people. I just knew that good times were ahead!

Somehow I managed to get on the train and immediately wished I'd had walked the three blocks and one avenue like I usually do and hop on the R train. I was smushed in a sea of dirty New Yorkers. The young man behind me was waaaaaaay too up close and personal with my ass and the woman in front of me kept brushing me in the face, or my outstretched arm, which was desperately reaching for a spot on the germ-infested pole, with her frizzy hair. And to make awful matters worse, I didn't even have room to take out my book and read. All I could do was stare at the roof in grand annoyance.

I was never so happy to see the shady Roosevelet Ave station where I was finally able to leave that hell hole to transfer to the local train. I huffed and puffed and pushed my way out in dramatic fashion, complete with a loud, "UGH!" as I looked back at the train in disgust.

Take the E train? Never again.

Fashion Disaster Alert on the V train

2008-09-17T11:16:00.003-04:00

I'm not trying to turn this into a fashion blog, but I spotted another fashion disaster this morning on the V train on my way into work that needs to be addressed.

A young Asian woman was wearing a soft, peach-colored sheer blouse, adorned with sequins, which is a problem in and of itself because you should NEVER wear sequins, but we'll save that discussion for another day; a red sweater vest over that heinous blouse; and a pair of black pin-striped pants. To complete the disastrous look, she was carrying a purple-colored bag.

Now I understand that it's not unusual to see different cultures rocking out in odd outfits, but I'm pretty sure this young lady was on her way to work and that is not an appropriate outfit to wear. In public. I'm still baffled as to what made this chick think her outfit matched and looked good. Who knows? Maybe she was going for the "fashion victim" look. . .

She's a maniac

2008-09-16T22:51:00.007-04:00

Every Tuesday evening I attend my fave abs class at my gym. Before my class is a cardio dance class. The teacher (who also teaches my abs class) is an amaaaaaaaazing dancer. Like I mean really good. I used to be a dancer, cheerleader and gymnast and I couldn't keep up with her routines. I tried on three separate occasions. I actually stopped even attempting to take the class because I was so embarrassed with myself and my poor performance. Annnnnnnyway, if I get to my abs class early, which I did today, I watch the end of the dance class and I noticed that all the participants in today's class (the regulars) were really good. They had the routine down and they were all pretty good dancers. Except for one hot mess.

This one woman is particularly awful. I actually noticed her in last week's class and thought that it must have been her first time taking the class and once she realized how awful she really is, she won't come back. But she did. And, I think she got even worse!

Before I tell you about this woman's awful dancing, let me paint a picture for you so you know what you're dealing with. . .
Age: 40-55
Body Type: Tall and flabby with a big ole fat stomach
Outfit: black SPANDEX leggings and a short, black tee shirt that did not, I repeat, did not cover her big ole fat stomach AT ALL when she lifted her arms.

I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt and assume that she doesn't own any mirrors; and is partially blind; and has no husband, kids or close friends, or maybe just mean friends, because no one who likes you would let you leave the house looking like that. Now on to the dancing, or, lack thereof . . .

Bottom line, this chick did not know the routine at all. Yes, the class is tough, but if all the other participants could do it, then you should be able to as well. But what made her dancing attempts even worse was that I think she thought she knew the dance because she was flailing her arms around and spinning in the wrong direction and flexing her toes instead of pointing them and bending her arms when they should be straight. I could go on and on, but you get the picture. She was just awful! I wanted to laugh, but it just made me so angry instead. "WHY are you being like this?!," I wanted to scream in her face as I grabbed both her shoulders and shook her. But instead I just watched in horror with my mouth open, forming a small o as if saying, "noooooooooooo."

Anyway, Crazy Lady, if you're reading this. Dancing is not for you. Stop coming to this class and find a new hobby before I have you arrested for public indecency.

Song of the moment: Obviously, "She's a Maniac" from Flashdance, which leads me to the reasoning behind the picture. I typed Flashdance into Google Images, fully intending to use a photo of that chick in the movie doing her crazy dances in her leg warmers, but, I saw this picture and just couldn't resist. I mean, come on. Can you blame me? It's great. Words can't even describe.

Recipe for disaster in the R station at 49th

2008-09-15T21:24:00.003-04:00

1 white, wifebeater-style tank top

1 peach-colored, felt mini skirt
+
2 brown suede boots
=
One seriously confused young woman

Thanks for taking my poll!

2008-09-12T09:13:00.003-04:00

HAPPY FRIDAY, EVERYONE!!

I know it's only my first week back at work after a nice, long vacation (layoff), and I technically only had to work three days this week, so I haven't exactly been dying all week waiting for Friday to arrive, but its' exciting nonetheless.

Anyway, I have exciting news! . . .
I reached my goal of more than 20 people taking my latest poll!!! As you may remember, I have been unable to reach that over 20 mark so far, always just coming in under, and now that I've made it, this is quite the milestone. I think I'll celebrate by getting drunk tonight! After my boyfriend and I have dinner with his grandparents. I try to keep up the appearance of mature, sophisticated young woman around them.

In case you are wondering about the poll results, apparently the vast majority of you claim that you would gladly give up your seat on the subway to an old or pregnant person. I think you are lying. I'm going to post a new poll soon, so please take that one too. Let's try to hit the 25 mark this time!

Have a good weekend,
SG

I just don't understand . . .

2008-09-11T21:57:00.003-04:00

. . . those people stuck in the middle seats on subways who don't move over once one of the people next to them has gotten up. I know that sometimes it's a waste because if the train is packed, there is a damn good chance that two people will be engaged in a brawl fighting for that seat before it's previous owner is even off the subway car. But sometimes the car is pretty empty and you can move over knowing that no one else needs a seat. I was faced with one such situation on my way home this evening. This sorta-old woman, who was getting on my nerves to begin with because she was sitting with her elbows out and invading my personal space, sitting in the middle seat next to me refused to move over when the person on her other side got up. And what's worse is that the seats across from us were completely empty. She had plenty of places to go. Now, I know you're thinking, "Why the hell didn't you get up you lazy shi*t?" Well, I'll tell you why. Because I WAS THERE FIRST. I wasn't going to budge based on principle. And because I wasn't really that bothered by the woman. I was just confused as to why she wouldn't move. Anyway, don't get distracted. That is not the point of this post. The point is that she should have moved! Maybe she had a crush on me and was enjoying being so close to me while working up the courage to ask me for my number. Or maybe she was just oblivious. Probably the latter.

Song of the moment: "After Tonight" by Justin Nozuka. Love love love this song. So good. If you haven't heard it yet, check it out!

Dust in the Wind

2008-09-10T21:20:00.009-04:00

Today was my first day back riding the subway with all the disgusting NY rush-hour commuters. I was a bit disappointed when I entered the station this morning and instead of greeting me with balloons, low-fat muffins and a large cup of iced coffee (skim milk, two sugars), the subway attendant didn't even glance up at me when I walked by. However, I did receive a nice gift of a drama-free commute to work this morning, and that is certainly something to be thankful for.

Now, on the way home? Not so peaceful. Well, for once, I won't exaggerate. It wasn't awful. It was decent. Except for this annoyingly gangly, what I assume was a teen boy, (I refused to look up from my book) who took the middle seat next to me. He sat with his long, skinny legs unnecessarily spread apart and his head in his hands looking all "I'm so exhausted from skateboarding all day." Why do I assume he was skateboarding? Because he smelled. It was gross and I was worried it would stick to me (can that actually happen???). Anyway, I was all minding my own business and squishing myself against the end of the bench because this gross young man kept bumping me with his legs and once even with his head. So unnecessary! I mean, I know this isn't a huge deal, but it never needed to happen in the first place. This kid should have been courteous and noticed his space limitations and sat accordingly; know what I'm saying?

Totally unrelated, but I'm thinking of changing the names of my kitties from Titan and Zeus to Jack Daniels and Grey Goose. One is all black and the other his grey and white. Get it? Whaddya think? I know my boyfriend (the kitties' father) will never go for this change, but I thought I'd throw it out there anyway.

Song of the moment: "Dust in the Wind" by Will Ferrell. Yea, you heard me. Will Ferrell. Not Knasas and not The Eagles. Will Ferrell in "Old School." One of the BEST. MOVIES. EVER. You're my boy Blue!

Incompetence on the LIRR

2008-09-07T21:45:00.007-04:00

This morning, I journeyed home on the LIRR to spend some quality time (Quality time meaning my mom the hairdresser dying my hair and then shopping with my mom and sis before I allowed my dad to drive me all the way back to Queens later in the day.) with the fam on LI. I waited in the Forest Hills LIRR station and when the train finally arrived, a few minutes late, only one door would open. Everyone was looking around all confused and I ran up to the one open door and got aboard, because even though the rest of the doors would eventually open, I didn't want to risk it. I guess around this point the conductors started noticing a problem and I saw two of them starting to manually open and close the doors. They were actually taking way too long and at this point I thought I might miss my train that I need to transfer to at Jamaica. So, as the large, balding, pale conductor was walking towards me, I asked if the other trains will wait for us at Jamaica if we are late, because I was in serious danger of missing my transfer. "We aren't transferring," he gruffly replied. WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? I checked the schedule the night before and I was sure that I could pick up the Ronkonkoma train in Jamaica eight minutes after my train was scheduled to arrive. At this point I started to panic because I have no idea where this train would take me or how I would get home because when I tried to call my family, no one answered the phone. But then I heard the same conductor announce to the train, "Next stop Jamaica!" WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? Didn't the same a**hole just rudely tell me that this train wasn't making a transfer at Jamaica? When I spotted him again I thought I'd try to clear up the situation. "Hi," I said. "I just heard the announcement that we are going to Jamaica, but you told me the train wouldn't be stopping there to transfer." "Yes, I made the announcement," he said, "and we aren't connecting with any trains at Jamaica." "But," I tried again, "I checked the schedule and it said I could catch the Ronkonkoma train at Jamaica." He replied rudely saying something along the lines of, "too bad." To this, I shouted out, "Thanks for you help. I'm calling your supervisor!!!!" "Go ahead," the fat, bald moron called back at me, with a stupid smirk on his face and his arms wide open in what I assume was supposed to be a threatening manner. I was flabbergasted (isn't that a fun word?). I couldn't believe this was happening.

When we arrived at Jamaica I ran up to a station manager and asked when the next train to Ronkonkoma was. She replied, "Next on this track." "WHAT?!?!?!," I asked in shocked annoyance. "NEXT ON THIS TRACK!," a very annoyed young man standing behind me shouted back at me.

Anyway, as you can imagine, I was livid at this point and asked not one, but two LIRR workers for the LIRR main phone number, so I could call and complain of course, and wouldn't you know, neither one knew. Lucky for me, a nearby passenger had the number and gave it to me. I called, but unfortunately I must wait until morning to complain, and complain I will. Justice will be served!

LIRR = Completely Incompetent

Exciting news!

2008-09-05T11:34:00.005-04:00

So, in case you haven't noticed, Subway Gal has been without work for the past few weeks and finally she has found a great new job! Surely you don't care, so why am I telling you this? Because it means great, new subway stories coming soon! When I was without work, I didn't venture out too much during the day because I was busy doing the out-of-work-and-super-lazy thing, but starting mid-next week I'll be riding the subway again during those horrible rush hours with all the other tired, sweaty New Yorkers. yay.

Song of the moment: "I Guess That's Why They Call it the Blues" by Sir Elton John. I f*cking love this song!!! Although, I do think the version he does with my favorite Billy Joel is even more kick ass!

90210 - Let's Discuss

2008-09-03T11:44:00.005-04:00

Totally unrelated to the subway, I know, but the new "90210" premiere last night has been getting a lot of buzz lately and I think it's only fair that we devote one day to discussing it.

Overall, I liked it, but didn't love it. Why didn't I love it, you ask? For a few reasons, I think. Such as - the kids are so young!!!! Maybe I'm just getting old, but I remember the original "90210" and I thought those guys all looked super old for high school (turns out they all were!). This cast looks almost appropriate for high school kids, but it also puts me a little out of touch with them. Also, some of the writing and acting was a bit over-the-top and unrealistic. For instance, Dixon (who I loved as a bad-ass survivor with a heart of gold on "The Wire") is super-cheesy! He's so polite to his parents, even after his dad punished him! I don't know about you, but when I was younger and used to fight with my parents, it was usually an all-out war ending me with me storming out of the house and driving around the block until I got bored.

That being said, I think the show has potential. I mean, there are a lot of stories out there that need to be developed and will turn into big storylines down the road, such as the deal with Dixon's adoption and Rob Estes' (a.k.a. the new Mr. Walsh) bastard child with an ex that was given up for adoption years ago, unbeknkownst to him. Also, the show began with "Viva La Vida" playing in the background and you all know that I love that song, so that gives the show some extra points too.

In conclusion, I am going to continue tuning in for now and see how the show develops. Your thoughts???

Dawson who?

2008-09-02T20:28:00.005-04:00

The other day in the subway station I saw a poster for Joshua Jackson's (a.k.a Pacey) new show on Fox and I'm really happy for him because he is extremely good looking and a face like his needs to be on a screen and adored my millions nationwide.

Anyway, seeing that poster got me thinking about 10 years ago and a great little show called, "Dawson's Creek" and the "star of the show" curse that followed Dawson himself, James Van Der Beek, after the show. Everyone got big except him. Sure, he did that movie "Varsity Blues" but what was he really known for after that? Nothing. Katie Holmes is doing her "married to Tom Curise" thing and Michelle Williams is doing the "Heath Ledger widow" thing and now Joshua Jackson is trying to break back onto the TV scene. And poor James VDB is doing nothing. Well, actually, according to IMDb, he has two movies coming up, but they don't have any big names in them, so they are sure to bomb. This same thing happened with "Blossom," though I don't think anyone from that show got big afterwards. Anyway, there are more examples out there, but I can't think of them right now because my brain has shut down for the evening.

America's soap opera

2008-09-02T11:57:00.007-04:00

I'm not big into talking/debating politics because those who like to usually yell a lot and scare me and, frankly, I don't know enough about what is going on to intelligently debate a hardcore political nut.

That being said, can you guys believe the news that broke this weekend? Republican VP nominee Sarah' Palin's daughter is preggers?!?!? I swear, this election is turning out to be better than an episode of "One Life to Live" or "General Hospital!"

Song of the moment: "In Love With a Girl" by Gavin Degraw because I happen to love this song. And because I think Gavin Degraw is extremely sexy.

MEDIA ALERT: White Suit Convention in Queens

2008-09-01T13:55:00.011-04:00

***MEDIA ALERT***

WHITE SUIT CONVENTION COMES TO REGO PARK, QUEENS

WHO: All male residents of Rego Park, Queens

WHAT: White suit convention

WHERE: Rego Park, Queens

WHEN: Apparently every Friday

WHY: I HAVE NO IDEA!!! Anyone with any information about this bizarre white suit convention, please contact me at subwaygal@live.com
**********************************************************************************

Late Friday evening, my boyfriend and I were strolling home from the movie theater in our neighborhood in Queens when we noticed a young man in an all-white suit. Odd, we thought. But then we passed another man in a white suit. And then another. WTF??, we wondered. Well, since our neighborhood is mostly populated by Eastern European Jews, my boyfriend figured it might be religious-related. Maybe, but I've got a little Jewish blood in me and I can't recall any Jewish tradition requiring all men to wear all-white suits on Fridays. But then again, I'm certainly no Jewish religion expert, so what do I know?

Anyway, I figured it might just be some big, all-white themed family party (similar to the party Diddy hosts in the Hamptons each year) that one of our neighbors was having. Either way, can my Jewish friends out there help me out and explain this white suit situation to me. And while we are on the topic, WHY WHITE SUITS??? So cliche, doncha think? I mean, I don't know about you, but there's something about seeing a man in an all-white suit that makes me want to jump up screaming, "STAYING ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE" and start strutting down the street while pointing and winking at people.

Song of the moment. Duh. "Staying Alive" by the Bee Gees.

Only in NYC

2008-08-29T16:55:00.002-04:00

As I was enjoying today's episode of "General Hospital" in my apartment on my DVR this afternoon, I heard lots of loud, obnoxious honking outside my window. Now, this is a typical occurrence on any normal weekday during rush hour because there's always one car on the narrow street that is double parked and causing a traffic build up. But this afternoon was different because the hoking would NOT STOP. So I peered out my window and saw what was causing all the honking - it was a good old fashioned fight over a parking spot.
Offender No. 1: Loud, overweight, balding, gay man in a brightly colored shirt. This man's white Jaguar was halfway parked in said parking spot.
Offender No. 2: Elderly woman in a non-stylish car. With a handicapped logo on her license plate. This woman's car was in front of the spot with the intention to back in.

Now, I didn't see this situation begin, but from what I could gather, both of them were going for the spot in different directions, and Jaguar was able to get his car in far enough to stake a claim in the spot. However, this woman was a feisty one and she refused to back down, even when this man came to her car window and verbally attacked her. She even had the balls to lightly hit his car once he go out of it and she was still trying to back in the spot, thereby blocking traffic.

Although I think the man should have done the chivalrous thing and given this woman the spot because she was elderly and possibly handicapped, she really should have moved at this point because she was blocking traffic and causing a scene. And distracting me from my "General Hospital" watching. I must admit though, it was quite amusing. In the end, the old chick moved and Jaguar kept the spot.

Gotta love NYC courtesy! Maybe in this case, the subway actually would have been the better choice for these people.

New Poll!

2008-08-29T11:31:00.004-04:00

Thanks to everyone for taking my last poll! It's ummmmm good to know that you all think it's worse being squished next to someone with bad BO on the subway, as opposed to spending eternity in purgatory. Though, I gotta say - that was my vote too! Call me crazy, but I think purgatory might be more fun than it's made out to be.

And for you four people who think it would be worse being caught with marijuana - you must be huuuuuuuuuuge potheads to be worried about that, and you may have a drug problem.

Anyway, I posted a new poll, so take it! And be honest.

Have a great, long holiday weekend, everyone!!!
- SG

Song of the moment: "Summertime" by Will Smith. How amazingly talented is this man? I love him! And the song is quite fitting for the last real weekend of summer.

I'm just gonna throw this out there

2008-08-27T21:57:00.003-04:00

So um, I'm just gonna throw this out there. If you don't like it, just throw it right back. Televisions on subways. YES! You know, like televisions on airplanes. I mean, why not? How has no one thought of this before!?!? If there were a few strategically placed televisions in each subway car playing some random movie (no actual TV channels would be available for viewing because that would just cause too many fights) it would make the commute sooooo much nicer. Just think, instead of having to look up at the same awful ads to avoid making eye contact with the scary looking man sitting across from you, you would be able to focus on a movie. And, instead of me having to pick a fight with a homeless man who I swore was giving me weird looks, I'd have a movie to distract me. See!?!? It has many advantages! And, with all the fare hikes the MTA has already imposed and the others they are planning, you know they can afford it!

Stiletto Courtesy

2008-08-26T12:40:00.006-04:00

This morning as I was standing on the E train, which I usually try to avoid in the morning because it's awful, in my 4-inch stiletto heels, I observed a man giving up his seat to a pregnant woman. I'm glad he did this because I saw her standing there for a little while until this guy finally awoke from his coma and noticed her pregnant belly standing in front of him, but it got me thinking about subway etiquette and when you should give up your seat. You should always give up your seat to women, or men (e.g. "The Pregnant Man" Thomas Beatie), who are preggers and of course the elderly and the handicapped, but what about women in stilettos? I totally get how it's different because women choose to wear stilettos in the subway when they could be wearing flats instead and the elderly don't choose to be old because they just are, and I usually do wear flats and change to stilettos when I get to work, but this time was different. This morning I was on my way to an interview and I didn't want to show up carrying a bag with shoes in them, ya know? For interviews I always think the less baggage the better. So, with this in mind, I braved the commute standing in my stilettos and not once did I give a man an evil look for not giving his seat up to me as I stood there in pain in my stilettos, but I really think this needs to change. We women (and perhaps some men?) wear stilettos because, even though they can be very very painful, they are the best possible shoe to wear with the outfit and because they want to look good - for all of you! So, as I see it, the least you can do is give up your seat to a woman in stilettos and maybe even thank her for going out of her way to look so nice, even though she is probably in excruciating pain. If each of the five or six people who read this blog give up there seat to a person in stilettos the next time they are on the subway, together we can, very slowly, change subway etiquette. Try it and let me know what happens.

Oh, and I decided to do away with the fortune cookie gadget I added last night because it keeps telling me that I'll have the best life ever and while that's nice and everything, that's the only thing it says and that gets pretty boring pretty quickly. However, for now I have decided to keep the thought-of-the-day gadget. You like?

Song of the moment: "Let Me Go" by Three Doors Down. This song reminds me of Jesse Metcalfe because he was in the video. Remember Jesse? That's ok, I doubt many people do anymore. Well, back in the day he was hot stuff and had a prominent role on "Desperate Housewives" and the craptastic "John Tucker Must Die." Now, at 29, he's a has-been. Although, according IMDb he has three movies coming up, but I'm sure they will either suck or he will have a bit part! Take my advice to Jesse and go do modeling or something where you can showcase your bod and not have to speak. Maybe Calvin Klein is hiring.

Maybe I'm just a mean girlfriend

2008-08-25T23:03:00.003-04:00

My boyfriend is really into politics and me? Not so much. He gets all passionate when he rambles about people I've never heard of in cities I didn't know existed, and he gets really riled up when you disagree with him about something he really believes in. Which is why it's so much fun to do it. Tonight was one such night. I took a break from watching the best moments of "The Girls Next Door" in the living room to visit my boyfriend in the bedroom while he was watching the Democratic Convention, which, in my opinion is way too long. Anyhoodle, I walked in as he was watching, in awe, Michelle Obama's speech and I heard her talking about how wonderful her father was. "Why is she talking about herself when she should be talking about her husband and how a great a president he will be?" I asked my boyfriend. "I think she's just a money-seeking fame whore who is using Barack to get her 15 minutes and after his term(s) is/are up, she is going to leave him," I continued, as my boyfriend gaped at me in what I suspect was sheer horror. Inspired by his rage, I continued. "And what the hell is she (Michelle) wearing? I could have found something nicer at Wal-Mart," I said. "She's trying to appeal to the working-class white people who will think she's being uppity if she wears something too nice," my boyfriend yells at me. "Trust me, having spent time in Alabama, I know how these people think. They are crazy," my boyfriend, the expert on the views of Southerners, having spent a few years in grad school in Alabama, explained. "Well," I huffed, "I think that even a poor person would manage to find something a little nicer to wear to the Democratic Convention." At this point I was rolling on the bed in fits of giggles with tears streaming out of the corners of my eyes as my boyfriend got all red in the face and I swear, I saw smoking coming out of his ears.

It's amazing what I'll do for a good chuckle sometimes :)

BTW, toooooooootally didn't mean anything I said to my boyfriend about Michelle Obama. Obama/Biden '08!!

p.s. Read below to find out about "Thoughts On a Subway's" totally super exciting changes!

Exciting Changes

2008-08-25T22:05:00.004-04:00

Hi!! Here at "Thoughts On a Subway" we, and by we I mean me, made some changes to the blog tonight. Probably because we are bored. Anyway, we (I) added some sorta-exciting elements that blogger.com added to make blogging more fun. I chose to ad a fortune cookie (click it and it gives you a totally real fortune!) and a random things-to-ponder gadget (their word, not mine) to my blog. I almost chose to add a "Victoria's Secret Model-of-the-Day" gadget but, much to the disappointment of my male readers, last minute I decided against it. Anywho, I'm still undecided about how I feel about these two additions because change scares me, so I want you to tell me what YOU think. Let me know below!

Subway, you disappointed me today

2008-08-24T20:54:00.003-04:00

Earlier today, me, my moms and my lil sister went out looking for some nice knockoff bags on Canal St. and had a gloooooooorious day. I got a very real-looking Coach bag and my sister got a hell of a lot more stuff than that (she is one teenage pit bull of a bargainer!) and some peanuts, and my mom and sister got to experience the subway for the first time. They occasionally read my blog (appreciate the support, family!) so they heard the horror stories and my sister was pumped for some action. She kept hoping to see a rat on the subway tracks, which is a pretty common occurrence, yet today the rats stayed in hiding. We saw some interesting characters on the subway, including an Amish family and a man with a major staring problem (though I can't really blame the man because we were quite the striking group, if I do say so myself), and my sister kept asking if I would write about any of them, but, sadly, I had to say, no. None of them were blog-worthy. Just your regular New York weirdos. At the end of the day I felt a little bit like I let my sister down. Here she was, visiting her older, cooler, sister's turf and excited at the chance to see what inspires my blogging, and, on any other day there would have been at least one or two blog-worthy items, but today - Nothing. Why you gotta be like that subway? Don't put on a show for my fam - they already knows your true colors.

Song of the moment

2008-08-22T19:23:00.003-04:00

"Good" by Better than Ezra. This song reminds me of the movie, "The Babysitter's Club" and my 13-year-old self forming my own "Babysitter Clubs" with my friends and living my 13-year-old life and all it's major dramas. Ahhhhhhh this song makes me nostalgic. Travel back in time and listen below.

Friday Food for Thought

2008-08-22T10:12:00.002-04:00

WARNING: This post is NOT subway-related. Read at your own risk.

Today, my horoscope, which I usually always think is right to some degree, or at the very least predicting the future for me, told me something unsual this morning. It said something about checking my lists twice to make sure I get everything done, which I always do because I'm pretty sure that I'm OCD, but it also said, cryptically, "Kids might be pretty distracting." WTF?! What does that mean? I know that I am not currently with child so what is my horoscope trying to say? Maybe I'll get into a discussion about children today? Maybe I'll find out someone that I know is pregnant? Or, gasp, maybe I'll get stuck watching someone's terribly annoying children today? I'm not quite sure what my horoscope is trying to tell me, but maybe I'd better re-think my plans to venture outside today . . . .

Song of the moment: "One," but not the one just by U2 - the one with U2 and Mary J. Pure genius.

The Unspoken Subway Rule

2008-08-20T11:54:00.005-04:00

It is an unspoken rule among NYC commuters, especially during rush-hour, that the stairs leading into and out of a subway station should have 2 lanes of traffic. Even if there isn't a bar separating the two lanes, we expect others to be smart enough to know that the rule still applies. This is why it REALLY PISSES ME OFF when herds of people treat the stairway as one lane of traffic and don't let people trying to go the other way get through.

One particular instances that comes to mind is a few months back when my boyfriend and I were trying to catch the subway somewhere and as we were headed down the stairs to catch the train that just approached, a herd of commuters got off that same subway and headed up the kinda-narrow subway, allowing us no space to get down. What to do? Let the commuters pass and wait to catch the next train? Or, charge through the crowd and stick your arm in the closing door forcing it to open up and let you on? Well, naturally, I chose the later. I charged through the crowd, pushing and shoving and cursing the whole way down. But, after my brave and particularly frustrating decent, I noticed that I was alone and, unfortunately, had to let the train go. All that work for nothing! What happened? Well, my boyfriend decided to wait at the top of the stairs for the crowd to pass and then come down. Why? Because he's CRAZY! Well, that and he said that apparently it's also a rule in situations like this (with a narrow staircase) to let the big crowd get up (or down) the stairs and the few people trying to get through the other way are supposed to wait. I think this rule is stupid. Just because I'm one person, doesn't meant that I don't have somehwere to be, ya know? I mean, in this particular instance I don't think I was in a terrible rush, but that's not the point!

I believe that there should always be two lanes of traffic in a subway station. What do YOU think?

p.s. I have no clue who the guy in the picture is, but he sure does look HAPPY, doesn't he? In fact, he looks suspiciously too happy to be in the subway station. Anyway, it was the best photo I could find on Google that illustrates just what this post is all about.

The Soup

2008-08-18T22:58:00.002-04:00

I know this is a subway-related blog and all, but I didn't ride the subway today. And I probably won't ride it tomorrow either. So, I'm going to blog about something non-subway related. I hope that doesn't offend you, and if it does, I'm sorry. I promise to come up with some subway-related posts soon.

Anyway, did anyone catch "The Soup" on E! tonight? If so, was it just me, or were you rolling-on-the-floor-with-tears-in-your-eyes laughing throughout the show? If you haven't seen it, check out this hysterical clip.

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaack!!!!

2008-08-18T10:24:00.003-04:00

That's right, Subway Gal has returned from her fun trip to Ocean City, MD. Miss me? Of course you did! Well, now I'm back. And, I'm a bit disappointed because only 16 people took my last poll, which means I failed to meet my goal of at least 20 people. But I will not be deterred that easily. I'm trying again! I've posted a new poll so TAKE IT. Or else! Thanks :)

Song of the moment: Mr. Big, "To Be With You." Why? Simply because this is an early 90s classic and you know it. And because it's what just came on my Adult Top 40 station.

Some (possible) GOOD NEWS for Subway Riders

2008-08-07T12:34:00.003-04:00

I eOk, so I know that I already said my goodbye for the week, but I just found this story about the MTA and subway stations that, as a respected (HA-HA) transit blogger, it is my duty to report.

The headline of the story in yesterday's New York Times is weak - it's so obvious it's embarrassing that one of the best newspapers couldn't come up with something more clever to say - but it actually discusses some good ideas being proposed to fix subway stations. GASP!!!! Fix subway stations??? Unheard of! How exciting!

Anyway, one of the ideas being proposed in a study that the MTA's advocacy org (I know, I didn't know such a thing existed either) conducted is a type of Adopt-a-Subway program. I know, you're thinking, who, in their right mind, would want to adopt an NYC subway station? It's the equivalent of new parents deciding that instead of adopting a new, healthy baby, they would adopt an 80-year-old homeless man with a broken hip and one arm. But then again, I doubt anyone thought the Adopt-a-Highway program would be a success, and now look at all the signs we see about people and companies adopting highways. So, it just might work! I expect that we will see changes in 2028.

Subway Gal is going on vaca again!!!

2008-08-07T11:12:00.003-04:00

Yes, it's true, I am going on another vaca, and this time I am headed to Ocean City, MD for a week of beach and boardwalk fun with my boyfriend. We are leaving tomorrow morning and won't be back until the following Friday. You're sad, I know, but I'll be back before you know it! And, I'll bring you back a souvenir! Well, actually, I won't, but hearing that when I was younger used to make me feel better when my parents were out of town, or just at work for the today - I guess I was a bit of a spoiled brat, if you can believe it!

Anyway, while I am gone, leave me some comments about your interesting/funny/scary transportation stories and take my poll, if you haven't already, plllllllllllllease.

Trolman, Glaser & Lichtman

2008-08-06T10:59:00.009-04:00

This morning on the 7 train I glanced up and saw an ad for attorneys Trolman, Glaser & Lichtman, who don't think you should settle for less! Now, is it just me or would you never ever work with an attorney whose cheesey ad you saw plastered all over the subway? Call me crazy, but three old men, who are supposedly good attorneys and therefore should have no trouble finding clients, putting themselves in an ad in ridiculous poses for their own firm does not exactly inspire confidence. Good, in-demand lawyers should be waaaaaaaaay too busy to spend their time at a photo shoot for their ad. Right?? Either way, I don't think that I could take someone named Trolman very seriously.

However, there was one particular ad on the subway today that caught my attention. It was an ad for Be Kanye pills or something that will make you more like Kanye West. It looked like a legitimate ad, but there was no way at all that it could be. The ad directed you to visit www.bekanyenow.com for more information and, because my curiosity got the better of me, I did just that as soon as I got home today - guess the ad was effective! I thought it was pretty clever. To find out how to be more like Kanye, check out the site here!

And last, but not least, I would like to give a shout-out to the 7 train. I don't normally ride this train, but as I mentioned, I did today and I was very impressed! And, as someone who is not easily impressed by the MTA, this is a very good thing. I realized today that the 7 trains are super fast! Case in point - earlier today I had gotten off at the wrong stop, and as soon as I made the super-quick trek back to the platform so that I could get back on the next train, there was another train waiting! Amazing.

Song of the moment: "Stronger," by none other than Kanye himself.

New poll in da houuuuuuuuuuse!

2008-08-04T11:42:00.002-04:00

Happy Monday!! Well, maybe not for you because you're working, but I'm not so it's happy for me! :)

Anyway, thanks for taking my last poll! Almost 20 people took it, which is a new record, and it showed me that most of you would consider dating someone you met on the subway, train, bus, etc. For the one person that did meet someone while riding public transportation and it didn't work out, I'm sorry, but do you wanna tell us about it? We're nosy and we love hearing crazy stories, especially when they aren't about us!

As you will see, I posted a new poll today, so I hope you check it out and take it. My goal is to get more than 20 people to take this one, so encourage your friends!

It's Official: NO Plans to Repair Subway Stations

2008-08-03T20:42:00.002-04:00

Good News! The MTA is aware of the disgustingness (yes, I am aware that is not a word) of subway stations.

Bad News. They aren't going to do a
damn thing about it

So today is Saturday . . .

2008-08-02T15:13:00.004-04:00

So, today is Saturday and I was gonna go out and visit friends but then stuff happened and the weather was bad; like black sky, rain and thunder bad; so I decided to change my plans. I decided it was going to be a CHILL-AX day consisting of me in my fave sweatpants in front of the TV watching a movie marathon that begins with "Reality Bites." Then, all of a sudden, the sky cleared up and the sun came out. So, I put down my way-too-sweet mojito, closed the blinds and resumed watching my marathon.

Reason I'm telling you this? In case you are checking out my blog today, I want to let you know the reason for no subway-related post today.

Song of the moment: "Stay" by Lisa Loeb because that was like the main song in "Reality Bites," right?

Classless in Queens

2008-07-30T16:23:00.005-04:00

On my way home from Brooklyn today, I was seated across from an ordinary chubby middle-aged woman who looked just like your average housewife mom who was out running some errands - brown hair tied back, no makeup and an over-sized white tee-shirt with some witty saying on it. However, it was what she was wearing below the tee-shirt that caught my attention.

This ordinary woman was wearing a skirt, a super-short denim skirt, to be exact. By the look of the hem of this skirt, I am pretty sure that she took an old, long, denim skirt from years ago and decided to cut into a shorter skirt to help beat the summer heat. But, she must have been drunk when doing so because the poor skirt looked like it was hacked in half and should have ended up in the trash instead of on a person. In public. Anyway, aside from this poor woman's utter lack of cutting and fashion skills, it was how she was sitting that caught my eye. She was sitting the way men usually do, with one leg up on the other so that the foot of one leg was resting on the thigh of the other, giving everyone a nice crotch shot. Did I mention that this woman was middle-aged? And chubby? And wearing a SKIRT? I actually did a double-take because I thought, no way would a woman in a skirt sit like that unless she was on her way to a strip club, or a busy corner. I thought, those must be shorts, or a skort, but, unfortunately, it was a skirt.

If you are reading this, Chubby middle-aged housewife mom riding on the R train this afternoon, what you pulled today was not classy. Not classy at all. If you insist on sitting in such a way that gives your fellow passengers a free peep show, for your sake and the sake of your fellow passengers, please wear pants.

xoxo,
SG

Song of the moment: "Viva La Vida" by Coldplay. Have I mentioned this one before? Who cares? I love it! It's also my new ringtone, except for when my boyfriend calls because he has his own special "Monday Night Football" ringtone.

GH Awesomeness

2008-07-29T14:56:00.004-04:00

If you've read my profile, you know I'm a HUGE "General Hospital" fan. The show is awesome, and if you don't believe me, check out this! The show just got that much cooler.

How many MTA workers does it take to open the subway doors?

2008-07-29T13:33:00.002-04:00

On our trek back to NY on Sunday after our weekend in Baltimore, my boyfriend and I were waiting for a local train at the 71st St. stop in Queens, which, for those of you who don't know, is the first/last stop on the V, R and, when it's operating properly, G trains. On this particular evening, this station was also very hot and stuffy, which is why we were thankful when a local train arrived not too long after we did.

However, the doors of this subway did not open. Why? Because there were no conductors making an effort to open the doors. Why not? I don't know. I saw a bunch of them milling about upstairs laughing and eating and scratching and some on the other side of platform walking back and forth looking important, but none were coming to open the subway doors and save us from the extreme heat. Many people, including my usually much-calmer-than-me boyfriend were starting to get angry. On several occasions, other MTA employees walked down the stairs and I thought "Finally! We're saved!," only to have them walk by and not even glance at us or the closed subway doors. Now this was just cruel. Here we all were on Sunday evening standing in the hot, stuffy subway station in front of a closed air-conditioned subway, dreaming of our homes and we were being refused entry. It was torture. I imagined a group of disgruntled MTA workers watching the whole scene from an air-conditioned office in the station laughing at all of us who were at their mercy, because really, what the hell else were they doing that was making them late? They have ONE job. Arrive to the subway station on time, open the doors to let the waiting passengers on board, and then drive the subway back and forth for a few hours.

Song of the moment: "Dirty Laundry" by Don Henley. I know, WTF? I actually don't think I've ever heard this song before, but it's on the "Adult Top 40" station on my TV right now.

Mandals and a Skirt

2008-07-28T11:50:00.006-04:00

Last night, my boyfriend and I were on the E train on our way home after a fun weekend with friends in my boyfriend's old hood B'more going to the aquarium and watching the Orioles get their butts kicked, when another rider caught my attention. As if in an answer to my prayers, he boarded the train just as I was wondering what to blog about today.

This man who boarded the train was different than the other riders. He was unique. He was wearing a heinous pair of blue mandals. And a short, bright orange muscle tank. And a long, beautiful, flowing female skirt, that, in case you were curious, did NOT match the orange tank AT ALL. To each his own, right? He must be an "artist" who was "expressing himself" and I shouldn't stare because this is NY after all and really, anything goes. So, I was about to go back to reading my book when said man grabbed the subway pole with both hands and sat back so that he was getting what looked to be a very good full-body stretch in the middle of the subway car. In a skirt.

Obviously, this man was not afraid to be seen in his skirt and he wanted everyone to know it. Or, he was on drugs and accidentally wandered into his sister's room earlier that day and mistakenly put on the outfit she had planned to wear. Either way, I wondered if maybe guys in long, flowing skirts was the norm, maybe even the new trend, and I missed it in my last issue of Marie Claire. I looked around the subway car and saw that a few others were watching this curious man too, so I'm pretty sure that he was just weird and not a fashionista. What do YOU think?

Song of the moment: "Savin' Me" by Nickelback. That's right, NICKELBACK! I am well aware that not everyone likes them and may even make fun of me for liking them but I don't care because this is my blog and on my blog Nickelback is cool! And the drummer is HOT!

Another fare increase??

2008-07-24T11:41:00.002-04:00

Now this is just ridiculous!

What, WHAT, has the MTA done to better service to deserve yet another fare increase?? They plan to increase fare in 2011.

I, for one, am outraged. How about you? Do you think the MTA deserves to raise fare again??

Grievances

2008-07-23T17:42:00.006-04:00

Yesterday, my friend, let's call her Jen, was telling me about some of her subway grievances and I thought it might be fun to share those grievances with all of you and get your input.

Subway peepers. These lazy, cheap, obnoxious nosy people can be found sitting, or standing, next to a person, any person, on the subway who is reading. Subway peepers are those people who either forget to bring reading material with them on the subway, or are too cheap to buy a newspaper, so they read over the shoulder of someone else who was smart enough to bring their own reading material. Subway peepers may seem harmless, because they may be disguised as a cute school girl selling girl scout cookies or a fragile elderly woman, but they aren't. Subway peepers unashamedly hover over riders with reading material, making them panic and feel claustrophobic. And, on top of that, sometimes, these subway peepers have bad breath and/or BO! Anyone can be a victim. Women, children, it doesn't matter; subway peepers do not discriminate.

Now ask yourself, have you been a victim of a subway peeper? If so, how did you deal with it? Please share. We are here to help. Or, worse, have you yourself been a subway sleeper? If so, why, WHY did you peep?? Our readers want answers.

"Jen's" other grievance was subway riders who rush to the doors to get out before the subway even pulls into the station. They act without regard to others, as if they are the only ones getting out at the stop, pushing and shoving and falling (because the car is still moving) all over people in a race to be the first to the door. I will guarantee you right now that more than one person is getting out at any stop, any time, day or night and, the subway conductors know this. So, they tend to leave the doors open for about 30 seconds, which is not long enough in my opinion, but long enough to let more than one person off the subway. So, what is the point of my rambling? Avoid accidents and remain seated until the subway car has come to a complete stop.

Song of the moment: "King of Wishful Thinking" by Go West. This is one of my top fave song of all times for two main reasons.

It's from the soundtrack to one of my top 5 favorite movies, "Pretty Woman," which is why I prob ever noticed this song in the first place.
Because at some points in my past when I was younger and even sillier than I am now, I thought this song described perfectly my thoughts about some of my exes. What girl hasn't???

Btw, is it just me or does one of the members of "Go West" now look like a little bit like Scott Baio?

New poll!

2008-07-22T14:20:00.002-04:00

Thanks to everyone who took the last poll! It's quite clear that the majority of you are not quite as combative as I am on the subway. That's probably a good thing.

I posted a new poll on the site today and I'd thank you kindly if you please participated. This poll is a bit more fun than the last one. It's inspired by my boyfriend because he met one of his super crazy exes on the bus.

There's no room for comments in the poll area, but if you answered "yes," and would like to elaborate, I'd love to hear about it! Leave any stories in the "comments" area of any of my posts.

Nose Pickers

2008-07-22T13:51:00.007-04:00

This morning, as I was waiting on the subway platform for the V train to arrive, I noticed a middle-aged man just a few feet away from me picking his nose. It was gross, but I watched anyway. I watched to see if he would stop after he glanced around the station and noticed me and a few others around watching him. Watching him PICK HIS NOSE! However, he did not seem to care because not only did he keep going at it, but he didn't even stop when another person passed DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF HIM. Does he have no shame??? I mean, if the booger was that bothersome then it was probably pretty big and this man should have been able to extract it with 1, maybe 2, picks. When it comes to boogers, if at first you don't succeed, stop trying. Or find a tissue.

I'd like to take the space I would have used today to discuss a song-of-the-moment to let all of you, who haven't already heard, know that Estelle Getty passed away today. Estelle was 84. RIP SOPHIA!!!

Douchebags on Board

2008-07-20T14:12:00.007-04:00

Hi, how was your weekend? Mine's been good, thanks! Friday night my man and I went out and stuffed ourselves with seafood at Red Lobster and yesterday we took the LIRR out to Long Beach to visit friends of ours. Now, don't get me wrong because I love the LIRR. Hell, as a former Long Island girl I used to rely on the LIRR for all my city travel needs. And, now that I live in Queens and my family still resides on Long Island, the LIRR provides a quick and easy (the station is about 10 blocks from where I live) way for me to travel home to see the fam. One thing I love particularly love about the LIRR is that it can usually be counted on as a place to chillax on your way home late at night after a day of partying, because at this point the train is pretty much empty. This is, until last night.

Last night, as my boyfriend and I journeyed back to Queens after our day in Long Beach, we boarded an empty train car and I read while he listened to his ipod in silence. Silence, that is, until a herd of underage teens boarded our subway car. And of course, because someone up there has a grudge against me, a group of them sat directly across from us! Briefly panicked, I looked at my boyfriend to find out if he thought we should move seats or even cars and after some thought, he shook his head no. Ok, I shouldn't be so judgmental, I thought. Maybe they are harmless and won't bother us at all. Wrong! After about 2 minutes of listening to their LOUD, vile, language and watching them jump around the car like monkeys, I couldn't take it anymore. I was either going to have a panic attack or I was going to whip out my mace and start attacking, so my boyfriend and I ran to the very back of that train car to get away from them.

The worst part of this is that the kids looked so YOUNG! I mean, I wasn't sure they were all even 18! They were obviously headed to the city, so I was thinking maybe there was some big underage club thing going on somewhere. However, my boyfriend thought that maybe they were 21 and they looked so young to us because we were getting older. HA! Highly doubtful. Besides, my boyfriend is 4 years older than me so it's actually only he who is getting old. But I digress. The point is that no matter how old these children were, they were soooo annoying that they actually made me reconsider having my mini Brangelina-like clan of 4 children. When we got off the train, the conductor was trying, in vain, to get them to calm down. I felt bad for him.

My only regret of the evening is that I didn't have my camera with me, because I think I could have persuaded them to pose for a picture and I could have sold it to Planned Parenthood for use in an ad about why you should practice safe sex.

Song of the moment: "Flash's Theme" by Queen, from the 1980 movie "Flash Gordon." I never saw the movie - hell, I wasn't even born when it came out - but I've been obsessed with this song for the past day or two since I re-watched "Blades of Glory" for about the 10th time the other night. Have you seen the routine they do to this song? It's GLORIOUS. And the song is KICK ASS! We love this song so much that my boyfriend, a.k.a future fiance, and I have decided to make it the song that our wedding party comes out to at our wedding reception. Actually, now that I gave that piece of secret information away, DON'T STEAL THE IDEA!

Subway Sellers

2008-07-18T11:33:00.006-04:00

It's Friday!!!! Congratulate yourself on making it through the long, boring work week!

I am going to leave you today with this thought to ponder . . .

A couple of weeks ago a friend and I were discussing people who sell things on the subway and he told me that one day on the subway he didn't buy from one particular guy because he didn't look homeless enough. I guess he only buys from people who look like they need the cash. Me? I'm an equal opportunity hater and I don't buy from anyone for a number of reasons. Let's examine them, shall we?

Quality items will NEVER be found on the subway.
The goods being sold, with the exception of little kids' candy for school, are prob stolen and the economy is in the crapper as it is, so let's not make it worse by purchasing stolen goods.
If the goods are something functional, like batteries, which for some reason I will never understand are a big seller on the subway, they probably won't work.
Food for sale. Have you noticed that the homeless, or people who look homeless but claim to work for some organization that helps the homeless, is always selling snacks or sandwiches on the subway? Who in their right mind would purchase food from a stranger, let alone a homeless stranger? They are homeless, which means they prob need the food more than I do and if they aren't willing to eat it, then why would I?

Would you buy goods on the subway? Why or why not? And, please, will someone finally explain to me why batteries are such a hot subway seller??? Have a good weekend! - SG

Slow Movers

2008-07-16T15:43:00.005-04:00

Earlier today as I was leaving the subway station I was stuck behind a very old, very slow woman and a slow middle-aged woman. The entire 45 second trip up the stairs I searched for ways to get in front of them, but to no avail. Finally, we reached the top of the stairs and I was able to squeeze between them and run out of the station and to the liquor store. I wasn't in any particular rush, but I CANNOT walk slow, I just can't, and people who walk slow bother me. I contemplated picking up the tiny old lady at one point and carrying her over my head as I marched up the stairs, but thought that might look crazy. Or would it have??

Remember how I mentioned the theme to "Growing Pains" in my last blog post? Well, shortly after I posted that, I found this!

The Problem with Beer Ads

2008-07-15T18:21:00.003-04:00

On the V train this morning, I noticed some new Bud Light ads, one of which particularly caught my attention. It read, "Drinkability: Never Fills You Up." Hmmm, I thought, a beer that doesn't fill you up? This must mean that it's also low-fat/low-calories too! And just look at how good and refreshing that bottle looks all covered in ice! Mmmmmmmmm I'm thirsty . . .

Wait! Didn't I just have a Bud Light a few weeks ago? And didn't I discard it after a few sips because it's the same, kinda gross beer it's always been? Deceitful advertising!

Song of the moment: The theme song to "Growing Pains." Remember the Seavers? You're probably wondering why the hell this is the song of the moment and I will tell you why. It's because part of the song appeared on an episode of "Family Guy" that I watched the other night and it kinda just popped into my head this morning.

Poll

2008-07-13T20:36:00.000-04:00

I added a poll to the blog! Please take it!!

We need air!!

2008-07-13T12:41:00.008-04:00

Ok, so I've already discussed the need for air conditioning in EVERY subway car in the summer, but how about on the platforms?? If you commute in NYC then I don't need to tell you that they are UNBEARABLE. The other day I was in the subway station dressed up all nice in a suit for an important meeting and after about being down there for about 2-5 mins. I was already perspiring, which is disgusting and no way to show up to a meeting. Anyway, the subway finally arrived another 5-10 minutes later and I was able to cool down in the subway car in time for my meeting. However, that is not the point. The point is that there should be some type of air conditioning system in the subway tunnels. Unfortunately for us, the NYC subway system is ancient and I doubt that it's possible to even set up air conditioning down there, but there must be something the MTA can do! In fact, this is another possible use for that fare increase the MTA imposed on us! Just a thought . . .

Song of the moment: "No More Drama" by Mary J. Blige because Subway Gal has been hated on lately (see link in below post). The blogosphere is big enough for all of us, so can't we all just get along?

Haters

2008-07-10T12:52:00.001-04:00

I mean, I guess I should be flattered that people are reading my blog, but why you gotta hate SUBWAYblogger???

http://subwayblogger.com/2008/07/10/striking-similarity-or-pink-copycat/

My first trip to Brooklyn

2008-07-09T11:41:00.005-04:00

Being a Long Island-turned-Queens girl, I've always has this unfounded bias towards Brooklyn and I don't think I've actually ever been there. That is, until yesterday. Yesterday I trekked to Park Slope on the G and F trains to visit a friend whose place I am ashamed to say I never visited. I was really shocked to find that I loved the area! It was really nice and had a bunch of shops, restaurants and bars within walking distance. There were row houses and brownstones everywhere and I found myself thinking that one day I could actually settle down there with my soon-to-be-fiance and our future family. During my visit we drank on the roof of her building (her and her husband own a piece of the roof); then went to see SATC, which was really cute - like a long version of a regular SATC episode - but also really unrealistic watching it as an NYC resident and knowing that people don't actually live like that; then went to the bars for more drinks. Overall it was a great day! However, my journey and drunken adventures is not really the point of this post. The point is the annoying teenagers I encountered on the subway on my way to Brooklyn.

I was all excited to be traveling to Brooklyn for the first time yesterday - by myself - and it was a special experience for me, which is why I was annoyed when it was interrupted by a pair of ANNOYING teenagers. These two girls who looked to be about 14-17 years old must have been discussing something pretty funny because they were SCREAMING with laughter moments after getting on the subway. And by screaming I mean high-pitched wailing. The car was pretty empty since it was the afternoon and most people were at their jobs, so I guess they thought it was ok to act like misbehaved monkeys at the zoo, but I, along with the other passengers, were not amused. Everyone looked at them and I even gave my classic death stare - twice! - but they either didn't notice or didn't care because they kept up their screaming. Thankfully, they weren't on the subway for long.

However, once they got off the subway care I couldn't shake the feeling of disappointment in myself. The old me would have walked over to them and told them to shut the f#%! up. But the old me also would have been drunk while doing this. I was sober, because it was barely noon and I'm not a hardcore drinker like I used to be, but I wished I wasn't, just to put those girls in their place and have an exciting story to tell you all about. Well, I'm certain this won't be the last time I run into annoying teenagers on the subway (after all, it is only Wednesday), so stay tuned!

Song of the moment: "Rockstar" by Nickelback. Because I am a rockstar.

You're not a baby, so hold yourself upright

2008-07-07T14:02:00.002-04:00

Have you ever noticed that just as the subway comes to its screeching halt at the next stop, or just before it pulls out of a stop, that it lurches forward or backwards? And have you also ever noticed that so do most of the people in the subway car? Well, I have. And I've also wondered why these people never learned to control their own bodies. I mean, is it a special gene that some people are born with and some aren't? Or could it be that some people are just lazy? I'm baffled as to why some people can't brace themselves, like I do, before each and every stop so that they don't crash into the poor person sitting next to them. Instead, they allow the subway to toss them around like a punching bag without even trying to have some self-restraint. The result? Some unsuspecting passenger being crushed, because you know that most of the time it's the not-so-thin ones who are the main perpetrators.

Song of the moment: The theme to "One Life to Live" because it's on now and I need to stop blogging and go watch it.

To speak, or not to speak

2008-07-03T12:16:00.004-04:00

As I stepped on to the R train yesterday morning on my way to work and took my place against the door at the end of the train, I noticed a former co-worker of mine seated close by. So, I did what most people would do upon noticing someone they knew. I ignored her. It's not that I don't like this girl, because I do, but I ran into her at the gym a few weeks ago and we chatted for a while and caught up on life and I didn't think there was much more for us to discuss at this point. So, rather than lose my coveted spot against the door and trade it in for a small spot to wrap my hand around on the germ-infested pole next to her while being forced to make small talk on our journey into Manhattan, I chose to ignore the situation. I felt a little bad, but in the end it really wasn't worth it. Am I wrong? What would you have done?

Song of the moment: "Apologize" by One Republic feat. Timbaland. Have I named this song already? I don't know and I really don't care because this song is awesome. It causes me to stop what I'm doing whenever it comes on and break out into my best gymnastics floor routine. Also, I've become obsessed with Timbaland ever since he start producing EVERYTHING and turning Nelly Furtado into a cooler artist and hanging with her and JT and appearing in their videos. Not to mention, Timbaland and "One Republic" made an appearance on one of my favorite soaps, "One Life to Live."

People Never Cease to Amaze Me

2008-07-02T09:30:00.004-04:00

Yesterday on my commute home from work on the subway, my colleague told me a story about a rude man on the bus and it is so appalling that I've decided that it needs to be shared. Here at "Thoughts On a Subway," we tend to neglect the bus (most because Subway Gal has rode it a grand total of about 5 times over the course of her life, and that was for about 10 blocks up or down Queens Blvd, because she doesn't understand the bus system and doesn't want to take the time to do so).

So, as the story goes, my colleague and a bunch of riders at a bus stop in Queens got on an already crowded bus and the only empty seat was being occupied by a box of donuts. So, one of the women who boarded the train with my colleague politely asked the man sitting next to the box of donuts if he would please move it so that she could sit down. "No" he replied. "Did you pay $5 for your box to sit there," she responded. "No, but I'm not moving it," he huffed. At this point, all the other riders on the bus were calling out to the bus driver for help and he too asked the rider to move his box of donuts, only to be told, "no" by this horrible man. By this point, the other riders were conspiring to take the box of donuts and start eating them. Me? I probably would have opened the nearest window and thrown the box of donuts out of it, or, better yet, sat ont he box of donuts. And farted.

In the end, the bus driver wound up stopping the bus and pulling over and telling the man that unless he moved his box of donuts he would not continue driving. Reluctantly, the man finally moved his box of donuts.

I listened to this story in horror, growing angrier each time this man refused to move his box of donuts. What is with some people? And where do they get their sense of self-entitelment from? Unreal.

As I was drafting this post on the subway ride to work this morning, a middle-aged woman wearing a too-tight shirt that my friend actually purchased from H&M last season and wore as a dress, stood next to where I was sitting and was fubmling in her bag for god knows what and as a result wound up repeatedly hitting my legs with her cheap plastic purse. I tried, unsucessfully, to push the bag away, and was about to throw the bag across the subway car when, luckily for her, she got off the subway.

Song of the moment: "Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da" by the Beatles and the opening of that show with Corkey the retarted kid. They made up a song on ESPN's "Mike & Mike," show the other day using that beat and it's been randomly playing in my head ever since.

Rush Hour Rudeness

2008-06-30T22:31:00.004-04:00

On my commute home this evening after work, I stepped onto an R train and spotted a vacant seat, which was actually being partly occupied by a fat man (probably in his twenties) and his backpack. No big deal, right? I mean, his eyes were closed so he obviously didn't see how crowded the train was and how he obviously shouldn't be occupying two seats, right? Wrong.

"Excuse me," I said. Nothing. "Excuse me," I tried again, a bit louder. Nothing. I tried again, this time tapping his shoulder. He finally looked up at me, disgusted at being disturbed, but he did reluctantly remove his bag. However, he did not move himself. In fact, he resumed the position of resting his head on the dirty window next to him and jutting his hip and fat leg further onto my seat. "Excuse me!" I said. "What?" was his brilliant reply, "I moved my bag," he continued, as if I should be applauding his effort. "Yes," I tried to explain, "but you're taking up half of my seat. Nothing. I couldn't believe this was happening. I wanted someone to make him move, I wanted to tell on him! But then I realized that there was no one to tell, and unless I wanted to use the mace (rush hour isn't really the place for that) I was going to have to just deal with the situation.

"Ok then," I said and took my book out of my bag and rested it on him as I read, while I stuck out my elbow and pressed it into his fleshy side. Still nothing. I rested my feet on top of his. Nothing. My guess is that he probably didn't even notice anything was going on because his awful music was so loud and his body so fat that it must have been immune to my gestures.

Luckily for me, a man sitting across from me got off the train shortly thereafter and offered me his seat. I thanked him and told him that it's good know that there are still some kind and considerate people out there. Once I was settled into my new seat my neighbor leaned over and said, "I would have hit him with the book." Darn, why didn't I think of that? Actually, I won't lie. I did think of that, but decided to let it go because I wasn't in the mood for a scene.

What's scarier than using NYC public transportation?

2008-06-29T19:58:00.006-04:00

Driving with my brother. The first time I drove with my brother was actually only a few months ago when he was driving me and my boyfriend back to Queens after a trip to visit my fam on LI. It may have been the single most horrifying experience of my life. I thought driving with my father was scary, but it turns out that my brother is like my father driving x 5! I'm talking weaving in and out of traffic, just missing hitting the car in front or next to us by centimeters and braking hard. It's scary, and nauseating. I've been in the car with him a few more times since then, but I've been riding in the back with my eyes closed. Well, today I had the unfortunate experience of riding shotgun on our trip back to Queens from LI. I was on LI today with the fam watching my little sister graduate high school. BTW, when did high school girls get such big BOOBS??? And when did they start flaunting them all over the place in tight shirts and cut-out dresses? I don't think I started dressing slutty until I was in college. But I digress. Anyway, we picked up his friend on our trip and my brother began telling him about all my past driving accidents, like when I hit the motorcycle driver and he ended up on the hood of my car, or when I got into an accident in a parking lot (though I did later wind up going out with the guy whose car I hit, even though he still made me pay him!), etc. etc. But, that was years ago and I've become a better drive since then. Besides, he's the one who told me he's "this close" to getting his license taken away. And I could see why, as on the way my brother almost hit about 5 or 6 other cars, but the radio was blaring so loud that we couldn't hear other drivers screaming at us, or horns blaring so that we wouldn't know if we were about to get into an accident, but at least we would go out listening to Kanye. I saw my life flash before my eyes several times, and to prove this wasn't just me being dramatic, even my brother's friend was yelling at him from the back seat. Once we reached the exit for Queens Blvd. my brother's friend leaned over and said to me something like, "Lucky we made it back in one piece!" "KNOCK ON WOOD!!!" I yelled at him, as I frantically searched the car looking for wood and not finding any. "WE AREN'T THERE YET! Don't say anything else until we get there," I shouted. We did finally make it to my apartment and once outside of the car I was so happy I almost kissed the ground. The whole trip made me think, "maybe our public transportation system isn't so bad . . . " On second thought, yes, actually, it is.

Cab Drivers

2008-06-28T21:11:00.004-04:00

It really pisses me off when a cab driver asks me for directions. I mean, HE IS THE CAB DRIVER! Isn't he supposed to know this stuff, or at least have a GPS system in place to help him out? I don't drive in the city, you do, so you should know the directions. If I'm in a cab it's most likely because I'm a drunk and why on earth would you ask a drunk girl for directions? You have one job to do: drive a cab. Do it right and don't ask questions! If there's one thing I really hate it's incompetent people.

Song of the moment: I guess the entire "Hairspray" soundtrack because I'm sorta watching that movie right now and the music playing in the background is prohibiting me from thinking of a good song at the moment.

It's Getting Hot in Here

2008-06-27T09:15:00.005-04:00

This morning as I was about to enter a subway car, I noticed a woman fanning herself and immediately rushed to the next car. Now, ths could have meant that the woman was simply hot, because she was kinda fat, but it most likely meant that the air conditioning in that car was broken. I've been in that situation before and it is no good. Worse than being cramped in a subway car next to a fat person, is being cramped in a subway car next to a fat, sweaty person. Maybe the MTA should take the extra money they began stealing from us a few months ago with higher metrocard prices (http://subwaygal.blogspot.com/2008/06/subway-fares-increase-while-service.html) and spring for some working air conditioners in every subway car!

Have a good weekend!

Song of the moment: The theme song to the 80's sitcom, "The Facts of Life." This song just kinda popped into my head this morning and I began singing it to my boyfriend on our way to the subway: "You take the good, you take the bad and dah dah dah dah dah dah the facts of life. The facts of liiiiiiiife! When the wooooooorld never seems . . . " Well, you get the point.

BFF?

2008-06-25T09:27:00.005-04:00

This morning on the subway I got to thinking about Nicole Ritchie. Is it just me or has she become awesome since her union with Joel Madden, the foundation they started together and the birth of Harlow Winter Kate Madden? Don't get me wrong; I liked her as Paris' adorable, funny, slighly chubby sidekick on "The Simple Life," but now I just think that she is great. I would totally compete on a reality show to vie with other girls at the chance to be her new BFF.

Nicole reminds me of a slightly hippier version of Kate Hudson; another one of my favorites. Since the two of them are around the same age, have kids (maybe they can date one day?!), have blond hair, are super skinny and like guys in bands, they should totally be BFF!! I wonder if they've ever met and hung out? Are there any pics of them together? They definitely need to get together soon and start becoming the new Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie.

I was so excited by this idea that I didn't even give attitude to the annoying guy next to me on the subway who kept pushing his hips out further into my space so that he could get a better angle at which to lay his head.

Song of the moment: "With a Little Help From My Friends," but not the Beatles' version; the up-tempo version from that commercial about a product or service I forgot about, which I guess makes the whole ad ineffective, but it's still a fun song.

P.S. Want a good laugh? Check out this article about a new spary-on condom! ~ http://attuworld.com/gadgets/revolutionary-spray-on-condoms-soon-to-arrive.html . What will they think of next?

Stop Screaming! You're standing inches away from each other!

2008-06-24T10:52:00.005-04:00

There's nothing I love more early in the morning than a group of women who board the subway already in mid-conversation and then proceed with their conversation while standing shoulder-to-shoulder in the crowded subway car. Now, this wouldn't be a problem if they weren't SCREAMING at each other. One such incident happened to me yesterday morning on the subway (my first day back from vaca) when two large women hopped on the already-packed train and started shrieking, yes, shrieking at each other! This type of conversation is unnecessary because a. they were super close and didn't need to be shouting at each other to be heard, unless one of them was deaf, but I highly doubt it, and b. it's early in the morning and some of us are trying to nap or read.

Unfortunately, this type of situation happens all too often, and usually a group of kids/teenagers are the offenders. They are the worst because they have no shame and they will scream at each other about anything and everything, especially matters that are private like sex, STDs and drugs. And the cursing!! Now, I am far from an angel and have been known to throw around the occasional curse during conversation, but the number of curses and the vulgarity of them that fly out of these kids' mouths are disgusting! And this is NOT something I enjoy listening to on the subway, but I have yet to speak up and put an end to the insanity because these kids travel in packs and can kick my ass. Has anyone had the guts to risk their life and speak up against these screamers??

Song of the moment: None, because I'm too tired and can't think of one right now, but I'll have a new with the next post. Promise!

Subway Gal returns!!

2008-06-23T11:23:00.002-04:00

Subway Gal is back from her Caribbean cruise vacation. YAY! In case you were wondering, I had a GLORIOUS time bathing on the soft white sands at Nassau and sippin on some Margaritas in Margaritaville. But alas, all good things must come to an end and so another work week begins.

While I’ve missed the mess that is the MTA, it’s comforting to know that incompetence follows you wherever you go using public transportation. Case in point: Miami International Airport. On our way back to NY from our GLORIOUS vacation, my boyfriend and I were herded through the never-ending boarding pass and baggage check lines at Miami International Airport. Once we finally reached the other side and began to navigate our way through the 500 security check points before being allowed to get to our gate, I was stopped by a blond version of Frau Farbissina from Austin Powers who told me I could have only 2, not 3 carry-on bags with me, even though one of them was a bag full of souvenirs, which does NOT count as a carry-on bag. So I huffed and I puffed and I stuffed my pocketbook inside my beach bag filled with my shoes that didn’t fit in my suitcase. I was thoroughly annoyed at this inconvenience, especially when both Frau and I knew that as soon as I walked past her I would take my pocketbook out of my beach bag. Next, we proceeded en route to security checkpoint No. 2 while I shouted out words like “ridiculous” and “idiot” along the way, in case my fellow travelers and MIA employees were unaware of just how annoyed I was. At this security checkpoint the seemingly friendly guard chatted up my boyfriend as he passed through and then smiled at me when it was my turn and asked how I was doing, whereupon I snapped something to the effect of, “Fine, until I had to deal with your stupid security system!” After my humiliated boyfriend and I made it safely through the final security check point and headed to our boarding gate, I rambled on about how airports must put out ads specifically searching for the most incompetent people to work for them. I eventually got over it and we arrived back at our apartment without any further conflict.

Most people have their own airport(s) stories to share, most of which are much worse than mine, so let’s hear them!

Song of the moment: “Margaritaville” by Jimmy Buffet because less than a week ago I was actually in Margaritaville swimming up to the bar attached to the pool and I decided then and there that that is where I should be living, or at least retiring to one day.

Subway Gal is Going on Vacation!!

2008-06-13T09:53:00.011-04:00

Yes, it's true, I will be cruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuisin in the Caribbean all next week! Be jealous ;) Needless to say, I won't be blogging while I am away, because I'll most definitely be way too drunk to even know what I am writing, though that could make for some interesting posts. . .

Anyway, please check back for new posts the week of June 22. In the meantime, leave me some comments about interesting subway stories of your own, or just leave me some "I miss you so much, Subway Gal" comments.

Aloha! (yes, I know that is Hawaiian, but I have no idea what Caribbean lingo is, if there is such a thing)

- SG

Song of the moment: "Leaving on a Jet Plane," but not the John Denver version. The version from Armageddon when Ben Affleck sings this to the lovely Liv Tyler before he gets aboard his spaceship and then all the other guys start joining in.

Dear Chubby Guy Sitting Next to Me This Morning on the R Train,

2008-06-12T09:46:00.007-04:00

You were this close to getting elbowed or receiving a nasty look from me this morning. But, lucky for you, I decided to restrain myself because the situation wasn't as bad as others I've been in and I was feeling generous this morning. However, I did not appreciate your chubby arms rubbing against me a few times along our ride. There was simply no need for it. You had ample room to sit comfortably in your seat, especially since I didn't even take up all of my seat! Instead, you chose to sit with your elbows out and your legs spread apart so that your elbows brushed against me a few times, before I smushed myself all the way to the other side of the seat so as to avoid touching you, and your legs almost touched mine. I don't like it when strangers touch me and I doubt most other riders do either, so please take note and don't do it again.

Sincerely,
Subway Gal

Song of the moment: "Don't Stand so Close to Me" by the Police. No explanation needed.

Family Guy

2008-06-11T09:43:00.004-04:00

The only thought on my mind since watching last night's episode of "Family Guy" has been Stewie's version of "Car" by Gary Numan that he sings to Brian. I CAN'T GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD!!!

"Brian had sex, with a really dumb girl, now he's taking his friend Stewie, to get some ice cream, in his car."

All you "Family Guy" fans out there know what I'm talking about and are probably laughing right now too. And if you aren't a "Family Guy" fan, then WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? It's a great show and I highly recommend you start watching. Oh, and if Seth MacFarlane is reading this, I AM WILLING AND AVAILABLE TO DO A GUEST VOICE ON YOUR SHOW. I sound just like Lois, without even trying! I could play her cousin or something like that. Think about it. Have your people call my people. I actually don't have people, so just call me directly. I'll leave you all now with another one of my favorite "Family Guy" rants.

Stewie's Letter: Dear stupid dog, I've gone to live with the children on jolly farm. Good bye forever. Stewie. P.S. I never got a chance to return that sweater Lois gave me for Christmas. Umm, I left the receipt on top of my bureau. I'm probably over the thirty day return limit but umm… I'm sure if you make a fuss they'll at least give you a store credit or something. Umm.. It's actually not a horrible sweater. It's... It's just I can't imagine when I would ever wear it you know? Oh I also left a button on the bureau. I'm not sure what it goes to, but I can never bring myself to throw a button away. I know that as soon as I do I'll find the garment it goes to and then it'll… Wait a minute, could it be from the sweater? Did that sweater have buttons? Hmm… Well I should wrap this up before I start to ramble. Again, goodbye forever. P.P.S. You know, it might be a little chilly in London, I'm actually going to take the sweater.

EMERGENCY Exits

2008-06-10T09:41:00.003-04:00

One thing I hate most, especially on the early morning commute to work, is the obnoxious sound of an Emergency Exit being pushed open in a subway station. You know the sound, it's like a fire engine alarm blaring inside your ear. And the sound continues to blare even after the door is closed. Not pleasant. This morning, someone had to be obnoxious and open the door. This young man couldn't wait one freakin minute like the rest of us waiting patiently to pile out of the 23rd/Broadway station because he had to push through the line and out the Emergency Exit door. Now, I understand that sometimes this is necessary, like if you have a baby stroller, or a particularly large scratching post for your spoiled kitties, and need to go through the Emergency Exit because it won't fit through the turnstile. However, that was not the case with this man. He was simply impatient. And no one followed his lead! We all continued to wait out turn to get out of the station. I find it hard to believe that he was in so much of a hurry that he needed to get out of the subway station one minute faster than the rest of us. If that was the case he should have left his home earlier this morning.

Song of the moment: "Break the Ice" by Britney Spears. I know, I know, it's Britney Spears, but the song is catchy. Really. I'm not embarrassed to admit that I like it.

Men in capris?

2008-06-09T09:31:00.002-04:00

On my subway ride to work this morning, I noticed a young man in black, straight-leg cut capri pants. I can't decide whether I like this because on one hand, he did look really good in the capris, but on the otherhand, they are capris. And he's a man. And maybe men wearing capris is all the rage and I'm behind on the latest trends, but this is not something I am used to seeing. What do you think about men wearing capri pants - yay or nay?

Can it get much lower than this?

2008-06-08T21:05:00.004-04:00

After a nice, hot, day at the beach on Long Island, my boyfriend and I were on the subway heading back to our apartment when I glance to the right and see a bum in the next car pull out a cigarette and light it up! In the moving subway! At first my boyfriend and I thought it may have been a joint, which would have been pretty funny and still sad, but it was definitely a cigarette. Then, thankfully, he decided to spare the air of his fellow rider and smoked the rest of his fag in between our subway cars. Could he have not waited until he got outside? Or perhaps he shouldn't have gotten on the subway until after he was done smoking. I mean how bad of an addiction must you have to need to smoke in between subway stops because the craving is so strong. Sad. Cigarettes suck.

Song of the moment: "Misery Business" by Paramore. I just saw a story on Perez about the lead singer (http://perezhilton.com/2008-06-08-so-lame) so now I can't get the song out of my head, but that's ok because the song is AWESOME! It's a "what goes around comes back around" story and that is my favorite kind, because I'm spiteful ;) This is another one that I lip sync in front of my mirror pretending that I have musical talent.

The subway station is NOT a urinal

2008-06-06T09:32:00.006-04:00

Imagine my disgust when, this morning, while I was waiting for my subway to arrive, I glace across the platform and see a middle-aged man, who didn't appear to be homeless, taking a piss next to a garbage can. Happy Friday!

Song of the moment: My friend, let's call him Sam, pointed out that I forgot to include a song of the moment in my original post and that is because I was too traumatized for the urinating incident to think of a song. However, he likes Maroon Five's "Won't Go Home Without You" and I do like that song, so there you have it. That is the song of the moment. Have a good weekend!

The problem with the homeless on the subway

2008-06-05T10:35:00.004-04:00

If, knock on wood, I were ever to find myself homeless, I would turn to my family, or friends, or some type of shelter. However, I understand that not everyone has these options and I'm not really hating on the homeless, but WHY must they use the subway cars to sleep and take up 2-3 seats when doing so?! During RUSH HOUR!!! Subway cars are crowded enough in the mornings or in the evenings and it really pisses me off when I see a homeless person sleeping on 2-3 seats. No one is going to tap him/her on the shoulder and say, "Excuse me sir, but I would like sit here." And this is because no one wants to sit on those seats after they have seen a homeless person sprawled out across them. Don't we have some type of MTA security or NYPD who can patrol the cars and prevent this from happening? Think of the poor old people who need a seat, or the pregnant people, or the young women in stilettos. They all need to sit more than that homeless person needs a nap. And don't get all on me for being a hater because you know you are thinking the same thing!

Song of the moment: "What I've Done" by Linkin Park because my boyfriend watches Transformers about 15x/week and this song plays at the end of the movie and it is always stuck in my head! The song is pretty good, but the problem is that I only know two lines of the song - "I'll face myself/To cross out all I've become." But that's ok because by the time I've reached the end of that second line, my mind starts to drift to Josh Duhamel's face and that's always nice because Josh is hot and I've known him before "Las Vegas" and "Transformers" fame. I knew him when he was Leo Dupree, Greenlee's husband, on "All My Children." We go way back.

Subway Fares Increase, While Service Remains Crappy

2008-06-04T11:04:00.004-04:00

While this is not new news to NYC commuters, subway fares increased in March and I choose today to rant about it. While single rides remain at $2, those of us who are forced to use mass transit daily and purchase monthly tickets to "save money" now have to pay $5 more/month. Now, this may not seem like a lot of money to some, but that's not really the point. The point is, WHAT ARE WE GETTING FOR THIS FARE INCREASE? Faster service? Definitely not. Cleaner subway cars? I don't think the cars have been cleaned in decades. Less congestion? Hell no! In fact, according to Glick Report (http://glickreport.blogs.foxbusiness.com/2008/05/16/ditch-the-car-take-the-train/), NYC subway use is up 6.8% for January and February. So where is our money going??? I wouldn't mind paying more if I saw improvements, but I don't think there have been any efforts to improve the subway system since before I was born! (were subways around then? I'm not THAT old!) Have you seen the subways in DC? They are carpeted. CARPETED! Am I the only one outraged and disappointed by the MTA?

Song of the moment: Still "No Air" by Chris Brown and Jordin Sparks because I want to spite all the haters out there :)

ATTENTION SUBWAY RIDERS

2008-06-03T10:29:00.004-04:00

ATTN All Subway Riders walking through the subway station with your head down in a book or with your eyes closed while singing out loud to whatever is playing on your ipod. YOU SUCK!

Do you have any idea how many people I have had to plow down just to make it from one end of the platform to the next? It's ridiculous. When walking through a subway station, be alert and focus! The stations are crowded and if you are in my way I WILL knock you down.

Thank you :)

Song of the moment: "No Air" by Chris Brown and Jordin Sparks. Yes, this song is not exactly new but it is fantastic and really catchy! Whenever it comes on the radio I like to lip synch and pretend that it's me singing along with Chris Brown. Problem is I'm not a teenager anymore and I can't sing to save my life. Oh well, a girl can dream.

It's (almost) Subway Gal's Birthday!!

2008-06-01T19:53:00.005-04:00

Tomorrow is a very special day . . . it's my birthday!!! Thank you, thank you.

In celebration of my birthday I am going to give you all a special treat. Another mace story! Enjoy.

Back in the day (about two years ago) before I met my boyfriend, Thursday and Friday nights were my favorite happy hour nights. They were my time to really shine! So, after one particularly fun (I think I had fun) night at the bar with my friends (don't ask me which ones because I can't remember), I was intoxicated and riding the subway on my way home when I spotted what appeared to be a suspicious man. So, doing what any rational drunk would do, I whipped out my mace and held it in my hand pointed at this man. Now, this man seemed unfazed, but the poor girl sitting next to him looked at me in alarm and crouched in her seat. So, to reassure her, I snapped something like, "Don't worry, this isn't about you. This is because the guy next to you keeps giving me weird looks!" Shortly thereafter I fell asleep. Now, at this point, if I was another passenger witnessing this scene, I would have grabbed my mace, my purse and ran. Thankfully, not everyone is as mean as me. I woke up at the subway's last stop in Jamaica still pointing my mace at no one. I left the subway mumbling something nonsensical and throwing nasty looks in everyone's direction who even glanced my way. It was getting pretty late and I was still drunk, so I went outside in search of a cab, but to no avail. I eventually got back on the subway and, miraculously, made my way safely home. This story is one of the reasons my boyfriend doesn't let me ride the subway home alone after drinking.

No Love in This Club

2008-05-30T20:31:00.004-04:00

Ok, so I didn't actually have this thought on the subway, but I had it shortly thereafter. Is it me or is Usher's "Love in the Club" a really stupid song? I mean it's catchy (I was dancing to it in front of my mirror earlier this evening), but I don't understand why Usher would write a song about having public sex and assuming his fans want to hear about it? I mean, you don't hear me writing a song about my desire to make love with my boyfriend in the subway and if I did, it's certainly not something I would brag about because we aren't in high school anymore and that's not exciting. It's gross. Public sex is gross. GROSS USHER!