Subway Gal is back from her Caribbean cruise vacation. YAY! In case you were wondering, I had a GLORIOUS time bathing on the soft white sands at Nassau and sippin on some Margaritas in Margaritaville. But alas, all good things must come to an end and so another work week begins.

While I’ve missed the mess that is the MTA, it’s comforting to know that incompetence follows you wherever you go using public transportation. Case in point: Miami International Airport. On our way back to NY from our GLORIOUS vacation, my boyfriend and I were herded through the never-ending boarding pass and baggage check lines at Miami International Airport. Once we finally reached the other side and began to navigate our way through the 500 security check points before being allowed to get to our gate, I was stopped by a blond version of Frau Farbissina from Austin Powers who told me I could have only 2, not 3 carry-on bags with me, even though one of them was a bag full of souvenirs, which does NOT count as a carry-on bag. So I huffed and I puffed and I stuffed my pocketbook inside my beach bag filled with my shoes that didn’t fit in my suitcase. I was thoroughly annoyed at this inconvenience, especially when both Frau and I knew that as soon as I walked past her I would take my pocketbook out of my beach bag. Next, we proceeded en route to security checkpoint No. 2 while I shouted out words like “ridiculous” and “idiot” along the way, in case my fellow travelers and MIA employees were unaware of just how annoyed I was. At this security checkpoint the seemingly friendly guard chatted up my boyfriend as he passed through and then smiled at me when it was my turn and asked how I was doing, whereupon I snapped something to the effect of, “Fine, until I had to deal with your stupid security system!” After my humiliated boyfriend and I made it safely through the final security check point and headed to our boarding gate, I rambled on about how airports must put out ads specifically searching for the most incompetent people to work for them. I eventually got over it and we arrived back at our apartment without any further conflict.

Most people have their own airport(s) stories to share, most of which are much worse than mine, so let’s hear them!

Song of the moment: “Margaritaville” by Jimmy Buffet because less than a week ago I was actually in Margaritaville swimming up to the bar attached to the pool and I decided then and there that that is where I should be living, or at least retiring to one day.