On my commute home this evening after work, I stepped onto an R train and spotted a vacant seat, which was actually being partly occupied by a fat man (probably in his twenties) and his backpack. No big deal, right? I mean, his eyes were closed so he obviously didn't see how crowded the train was and how he obviously shouldn't be occupying two seats, right? Wrong.

"Excuse me," I said. Nothing. "Excuse me," I tried again, a bit louder. Nothing. I tried again, this time tapping his shoulder. He finally looked up at me, disgusted at being disturbed, but he did reluctantly remove his bag. However, he did not move himself. In fact, he resumed the position of resting his head on the dirty window next to him and jutting his hip and fat leg further onto my seat. "Excuse me!" I said. "What?" was his brilliant reply, "I moved my bag," he continued, as if I should be applauding his effort. "Yes," I tried to explain, "but you're taking up half of my seat. Nothing. I couldn't believe this was happening. I wanted someone to make him move, I wanted to tell on him! But then I realized that there was no one to tell, and unless I wanted to use the mace (rush hour isn't really the place for that) I was going to have to just deal with the situation.

"Ok then," I said and took my book out of my bag and rested it on him as I read, while I stuck out my elbow and pressed it into his fleshy side. Still nothing. I rested my feet on top of his. Nothing. My guess is that he probably didn't even notice anything was going on because his awful music was so loud and his body so fat that it must have been immune to my gestures.

Luckily for me, a man sitting across from me got off the train shortly thereafter and offered me his seat. I thanked him and told him that it's good know that there are still some kind and considerate people out there. Once I was settled into my new seat my neighbor leaned over and said, "I would have hit him with the book." Darn, why didn't I think of that? Actually, I won't lie. I did think of that, but decided to let it go because I wasn't in the mood for a scene.