On my way home from Brooklyn today, I was seated across from an ordinary chubby middle-aged woman who looked just like your average housewife mom who was out running some errands - brown hair tied back, no makeup and an over-sized white tee-shirt with some witty saying on it. However, it was what she was wearing below the tee-shirt that caught my attention.

This ordinary woman was wearing a skirt, a super-short denim skirt, to be exact. By the look of the hem of this skirt, I am pretty sure that she took an old, long, denim skirt from years ago and decided to cut into a shorter skirt to help beat the summer heat. But, she must have been drunk when doing so because the poor skirt looked like it was hacked in half and should have ended up in the trash instead of on a person. In public. Anyway, aside from this poor woman's utter lack of cutting and fashion skills, it was how she was sitting that caught my eye. She was sitting the way men usually do, with one leg up on the other so that the foot of one leg was resting on the thigh of the other, giving everyone a nice crotch shot. Did I mention that this woman was middle-aged? And chubby? And wearing a SKIRT? I actually did a double-take because I thought, no way would a woman in a skirt sit like that unless she was on her way to a strip club, or a busy corner. I thought, those must be shorts, or a skort, but, unfortunately, it was a skirt.

If you are reading this, Chubby middle-aged housewife mom riding on the R train this afternoon, what you pulled today was not classy. Not classy at all. If you insist on sitting in such a way that gives your fellow passengers a free peep show, for your sake and the sake of your fellow passengers, please wear pants.

xoxo,
SG

Song of the moment: "Viva La Vida" by Coldplay. Have I mentioned this one before? Who cares? I love it! It's also my new ringtone, except for when my boyfriend calls because he has his own special "Monday Night Football" ringtone.

If you've read my profile, you know I'm a HUGE "General Hospital" fan. The show is awesome, and if you don't believe me, check out this! The show just got that much cooler.

On our trek back to NY on Sunday after our weekend in Baltimore, my boyfriend and I were waiting for a local train at the 71st St. stop in Queens, which, for those of you who don't know, is the first/last stop on the V, R and, when it's operating properly, G trains. On this particular evening, this station was also very hot and stuffy, which is why we were thankful when a local train arrived not too long after we did.

However, the doors of this subway did not open. Why? Because there were no conductors making an effort to open the doors. Why not? I don't know. I saw a bunch of them milling about upstairs laughing and eating and scratching and some on the other side of platform walking back and forth looking important, but none were coming to open the subway doors and save us from the extreme heat. Many people, including my usually much-calmer-than-me boyfriend were starting to get angry. On several occasions, other MTA employees walked down the stairs and I thought "Finally! We're saved!," only to have them walk by and not even glance at us or the closed subway doors. Now this was just cruel. Here we all were on Sunday evening standing in the hot, stuffy subway station in front of a closed air-conditioned subway, dreaming of our homes and we were being refused entry. It was torture. I imagined a group of disgruntled MTA workers watching the whole scene from an air-conditioned office in the station laughing at all of us who were at their mercy, because really, what the hell else were they doing that was making them late? They have ONE job. Arrive to the subway station on time, open the doors to let the waiting passengers on board, and then drive the subway back and forth for a few hours.

Song of the moment: "Dirty Laundry" by Don Henley. I know, WTF? I actually don't think I've ever heard this song before, but it's on the "Adult Top 40" station on my TV right now.

Last night, my boyfriend and I were on the E train on our way home after a fun weekend with friends in my boyfriend's old hood B'more going to the aquarium and watching the Orioles get their butts kicked, when another rider caught my attention. As if in an answer to my prayers, he boarded the train just as I was wondering what to blog about today.

This man who boarded the train was different than the other riders. He was unique. He was wearing a heinous pair of blue mandals. And a short, bright orange muscle tank. And a long, beautiful, flowing female skirt, that, in case you were curious, did NOT match the orange tank AT ALL. To each his own, right? He must be an "artist" who was "expressing himself" and I shouldn't stare because this is NY after all and really, anything goes. So, I was about to go back to reading my book when said man grabbed the subway pole with both hands and sat back so that he was getting what looked to be a very good full-body stretch in the middle of the subway car. In a skirt.

Obviously, this man was not afraid to be seen in his skirt and he wanted everyone to know it. Or, he was on drugs and accidentally wandered into his sister's room earlier that day and mistakenly put on the outfit she had planned to wear. Either way, I wondered if maybe guys in long, flowing skirts was the norm, maybe even the new trend, and I missed it in my last issue of Marie Claire. I looked around the subway car and saw that a few others were watching this curious man too, so I'm pretty sure that he was just weird and not a fashionista. What do YOU think?

Song of the moment: "Savin' Me" by Nickelback. That's right, NICKELBACK! I am well aware that not everyone likes them and may even make fun of me for liking them but I don't care because this is my blog and on my blog Nickelback is cool! And the drummer is HOT!

Now this is just ridiculous!

What, WHAT, has the MTA done to better service to deserve yet another fare increase?? They plan to increase fare in 2011.

I, for one, am outraged. How about you? Do you think the MTA deserves to raise fare again??

Yesterday, my friend, let's call her Jen, was telling me about some of her subway grievances and I thought it might be fun to share those grievances with all of you and get your input.

Subway peepers. These lazy, cheap, obnoxious nosy people can be found sitting, or standing, next to a person, any person, on the subway who is reading. Subway peepers are those people who either forget to bring reading material with them on the subway, or are too cheap to buy a newspaper, so they read over the shoulder of someone else who was smart enough to bring their own reading material. Subway peepers may seem harmless, because they may be disguised as a cute school girl selling girl scout cookies or a fragile elderly woman, but they aren't. Subway peepers unashamedly hover over riders with reading material, making them panic and feel claustrophobic. And, on top of that, sometimes, these subway peepers have bad breath and/or BO! Anyone can be a victim. Women, children, it doesn't matter; subway peepers do not discriminate.

Now ask yourself, have you been a victim of a subway peeper? If so, how did you deal with it? Please share. We are here to help. Or, worse, have you yourself been a subway sleeper? If so, why, WHY did you peep?? Our readers want answers.

"Jen's" other grievance was subway riders who rush to the doors to get out before the subway even pulls into the station. They act without regard to others, as if they are the only ones getting out at the stop, pushing and shoving and falling (because the car is still moving) all over people in a race to be the first to the door. I will guarantee you right now that more than one person is getting out at any stop, any time, day or night and, the subway conductors know this. So, they tend to leave the doors open for about 30 seconds, which is not long enough in my opinion, but long enough to let more than one person off the subway. So, what is the point of my rambling? Avoid accidents and remain seated until the subway car has come to a complete stop.


Song of the moment: "King of Wishful Thinking" by Go West. This is one of my top fave song of all times for two main reasons.

1. It's from the soundtrack to one of my top 5 favorite movies, "Pretty Woman," which is why I prob ever noticed this song in the first place.
2. Because at some points in my past when I was younger and even sillier than I am now, I thought this song described perfectly my thoughts about some of my exes. What girl hasn't???

Thanks to everyone who took the last poll! It's quite clear that the majority of you are not quite as combative as I am on the subway. That's probably a good thing.

I posted a new poll on the site today and I'd thank you kindly if you please participated. This poll is a bit more fun than the last one. It's inspired by my boyfriend because he met one of his super crazy exes on the bus.

There's no room for comments in the poll area, but if you answered "yes," and would like to elaborate, I'd love to hear about it! Leave any stories in the "comments" area of any of my posts.

This morning, as I was waiting on the subway platform for the V train to arrive, I noticed a middle-aged man just a few feet away from me picking his nose. It was gross, but I watched anyway. I watched to see if he would stop after he glanced around the station and noticed me and a few others around watching him. Watching him PICK HIS NOSE! However, he did not seem to care because not only did he keep going at it, but he didn't even stop when another person passed DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF HIM. Does he have no shame??? I mean, if the booger was that bothersome then it was probably pretty big and this man should have been able to extract it with 1, maybe 2, picks. When it comes to boogers, if at first you don't succeed, stop trying. Or find a tissue.

I'd like to take the space I would have used today to discuss a song-of-the-moment to let all of you, who haven't already heard, know that Estelle Getty passed away today. Estelle was 84. RIP SOPHIA!!!

Hi, how was your weekend? Mine's been good, thanks! Friday night my man and I went out and stuffed ourselves with seafood at Red Lobster and yesterday we took the LIRR out to Long Beach to visit friends of ours. Now, don't get me wrong because I love the LIRR. Hell, as a former Long Island girl I used to rely on the LIRR for all my city travel needs. And, now that I live in Queens and my family still resides on Long Island, the LIRR provides a quick and easy (the station is about 10 blocks from where I live) way for me to travel home to see the fam. One thing I love particularly love about the LIRR is that it can usually be counted on as a place to chillax on your way home late at night after a day of partying, because at this point the train is pretty much empty. This is, until last night.

Last night, as my boyfriend and I journeyed back to Queens after our day in Long Beach, we boarded an empty train car and I read while he listened to his ipod in silence. Silence, that is, until a herd of underage teens boarded our subway car. And of course, because someone up there has a grudge against me, a group of them sat directly across from us! Briefly panicked, I looked at my boyfriend to find out if he thought we should move seats or even cars and after some thought, he shook his head no. Ok, I shouldn't be so judgmental, I thought. Maybe they are harmless and won't bother us at all. Wrong! After about 2 minutes of listening to their LOUD, vile, language and watching them jump around the car like monkeys, I couldn't take it anymore. I was either going to have a panic attack or I was going to whip out my mace and start attacking, so my boyfriend and I ran to the very back of that train car to get away from them.

The worst part of this is that the kids looked so YOUNG! I mean, I wasn't sure they were all even 18! They were obviously headed to the city, so I was thinking maybe there was some big underage club thing going on somewhere. However, my boyfriend thought that maybe they were 21 and they looked so young to us because we were getting older. HA! Highly doubtful. Besides, my boyfriend is 4 years older than me so it's actually only he who is getting old. But I digress. The point is that no matter how old these children were, they were soooo annoying that they actually made me reconsider having my mini Brangelina-like clan of 4 children. When we got off the train, the conductor was trying, in vain, to get them to calm down. I felt bad for him.

My only regret of the evening is that I didn't have my camera with me, because I think I could have persuaded them to pose for a picture and I could have sold it to Planned Parenthood for use in an ad about why you should practice safe sex.

Song of the moment: "Flash's Theme" by Queen, from the 1980 movie "Flash Gordon." I never saw the movie - hell, I wasn't even born when it came out - but I've been obsessed with this song for the past day or two since I re-watched "Blades of Glory" for about the 10th time the other night. Have you seen the routine they do to this song? It's GLORIOUS. And the song is KICK ASS! We love this song so much that my boyfriend, a.k.a future fiance, and I have decided to make it the song that our wedding party comes out to at our wedding reception. Actually, now that I gave that piece of secret information away, DON'T STEAL THE IDEA!

It's Friday!!!! Congratulate yourself on making it through the long, boring work week!

I am going to leave you today with this thought to ponder . . .

A couple of weeks ago a friend and I were discussing people who sell things on the subway and he told me that one day on the subway he didn't buy from one particular guy because he didn't look homeless enough. I guess he only buys from people who look like they need the cash. Me? I'm an equal opportunity hater and I don't buy from anyone for a number of reasons. Let's examine them, shall we?

1. Quality items will NEVER be found on the subway.
2. The goods being sold, with the exception of little kids' candy for school, are prob stolen and the economy is in the crapper as it is, so let's not make it worse by purchasing stolen goods.
3. If the goods are something functional, like batteries, which for some reason I will never understand are a big seller on the subway, they probably won't work.
4. Food for sale. Have you noticed that the homeless, or people who look homeless but claim to work for some organization that helps the homeless, is always selling snacks or sandwiches on the subway? Who in their right mind would purchase food from a stranger, let alone a homeless stranger? They are homeless, which means they prob need the food more than I do and if they aren't willing to eat it, then why would I?

Earlier today as I was leaving the subway station I was stuck behind a very old, very slow woman and a slow middle-aged woman. The entire 45 second trip up the stairs I searched for ways to get in front of them, but to no avail. Finally, we reached the top of the stairs and I was able to squeeze between them and run out of the station and to the liquor store. I wasn't in any particular rush, but I CANNOT walk slow, I just can't, and people who walk slow bother me. I contemplated picking up the tiny old lady at one point and carrying her over my head as I marched up the stairs, but thought that might look crazy. Or would it have??

Remember how I mentioned the theme to "Growing Pains" in my last blog post? Well, shortly after I posted that, I found this!

On the V train this morning, I noticed some new Bud Light ads, one of which particularly caught my attention. It read, "Drinkability: Never Fills You Up." Hmmm, I thought, a beer that doesn't fill you up? This must mean that it's also low-fat/low-calories too! And just look at how good and refreshing that bottle looks all covered in ice! Mmmmmmmmm I'm thirsty . . .

Wait! Didn't I just have a Bud Light a few weeks ago? And didn't I discard it after a few sips because it's the same, kinda gross beer it's always been? Deceitful advertising!

Song of the moment: The theme song to "Growing Pains." Remember the Seavers? You're probably wondering why the hell this is the song of the moment and I will tell you why. It's because part of the song appeared on an episode of "Family Guy" that I watched the other night and it kinda just popped into my head this morning.

I added a poll to the blog! Please take it!!

Ok, so I've already discussed the need for air conditioning in EVERY subway car in the summer, but how about on the platforms?? If you commute in NYC then I don't need to tell you that they are UNBEARABLE. The other day I was in the subway station dressed up all nice in a suit for an important meeting and after about being down there for about 2-5 mins. I was already perspiring, which is disgusting and no way to show up to a meeting. Anyway, the subway finally arrived another 5-10 minutes later and I was able to cool down in the subway car in time for my meeting. However, that is not the point. The point is that there should be some type of air conditioning system in the subway tunnels. Unfortunately for us, the NYC subway system is ancient and I doubt that it's possible to even set up air conditioning down there, but there must be something the MTA can do! In fact, this is another possible use for that fare increase the MTA imposed on us! Just a thought . . .

Song of the moment: "No More Drama" by Mary J. Blige because Subway Gal has been hated on lately (see link in below post). The blogosphere is big enough for all of us, so can't we all just get along?

I mean, I guess I should be flattered that people are reading my blog, but why you gotta hate SUBWAYblogger???

http://subwayblogger.com/2008/07/10/striking-similarity-or-pink-copycat/

Being a Long Island-turned-Queens girl, I've always has this unfounded bias towards Brooklyn and I don't think I've actually ever been there. That is, until yesterday. Yesterday I trekked to Park Slope on the G and F trains to visit a friend whose place I am ashamed to say I never visited. I was really shocked to find that I loved the area! It was really nice and had a bunch of shops, restaurants and bars within walking distance. There were row houses and brownstones everywhere and I found myself thinking that one day I could actually settle down there with my soon-to-be-fiance and our future family. During my visit we drank on the roof of her building (her and her husband own a piece of the roof); then went to see SATC, which was really cute - like a long version of a regular SATC episode - but also really unrealistic watching it as an NYC resident and knowing that people don't actually live like that; then went to the bars for more drinks. Overall it was a great day! However, my journey and drunken adventures is not really the point of this post. The point is the annoying teenagers I encountered on the subway on my way to Brooklyn.

I was all excited to be traveling to Brooklyn for the first time yesterday - by myself - and it was a special experience for me, which is why I was annoyed when it was interrupted by a pair of ANNOYING teenagers. These two girls who looked to be about 14-17 years old must have been discussing something pretty funny because they were SCREAMING with laughter moments after getting on the subway. And by screaming I mean high-pitched wailing. The car was pretty empty since it was the afternoon and most people were at their jobs, so I guess they thought it was ok to act like misbehaved monkeys at the zoo, but I, along with the other passengers, were not amused. Everyone looked at them and I even gave my classic death stare - twice! - but they either didn't notice or didn't care because they kept up their screaming. Thankfully, they weren't on the subway for long.

However, once they got off the subway care I couldn't shake the feeling of disappointment in myself. The old me would have walked over to them and told them to shut the f#%! up. But the old me also would have been drunk while doing this. I was sober, because it was barely noon and I'm not a hardcore drinker like I used to be, but I wished I wasn't, just to put those girls in their place and have an exciting story to tell you all about. Well, I'm certain this won't be the last time I run into annoying teenagers on the subway (after all, it is only Wednesday), so stay tuned!

Song of the moment: "Rockstar" by Nickelback. Because I am a rockstar.

Have you ever noticed that just as the subway comes to its screeching halt at the next stop, or just before it pulls out of a stop, that it lurches forward or backwards? And have you also ever noticed that so do most of the people in the subway car? Well, I have. And I've also wondered why these people never learned to control their own bodies. I mean, is it a special gene that some people are born with and some aren't? Or could it be that some people are just lazy? I'm baffled as to why some people can't brace themselves, like I do, before each and every stop so that they don't crash into the poor person sitting next to them. Instead, they allow the subway to toss them around like a punching bag without even trying to have some self-restraint. The result? Some unsuspecting passenger being crushed, because you know that most of the time it's the not-so-thin ones who are the main perpetrators.

Song of the moment: The theme to "One Life to Live" because it's on now and I need to stop blogging and go watch it.

As I stepped on to the R train yesterday morning on my way to work and took my place against the door at the end of the train, I noticed a former co-worker of mine seated close by. So, I did what most people would do upon noticing someone they knew. I ignored her. It's not that I don't like this girl, because I do, but I ran into her at the gym a few weeks ago and we chatted for a while and caught up on life and I didn't think there was much more for us to discuss at this point. So, rather than lose my coveted spot against the door and trade it in for a small spot to wrap my hand around on the germ-infested pole next to her while being forced to make small talk on our journey into Manhattan, I chose to ignore the situation. I felt a little bad, but in the end it really wasn't worth it. Am I wrong? What would you have done?

Song of the moment: "Apologize" by One Republic feat. Timbaland. Have I named this song already? I don't know and I really don't care because this song is awesome. It causes me to stop what I'm doing whenever it comes on and break out into my best gymnastics floor routine. Also, I've become obsessed with Timbaland ever since he start producing EVERYTHING and turning Nelly Furtado into a cooler artist and hanging with her and JT and appearing in their videos. Not to mention, Timbaland and "One Republic" made an appearance on one of my favorite soaps, "One Life to Live."

Yesterday on my commute home from work on the subway, my colleague told me a story about a rude man on the bus and it is so appalling that I've decided that it needs to be shared. Here at "Thoughts On a Subway," we tend to neglect the bus (most because Subway Gal has rode it a grand total of about 5 times over the course of her life, and that was for about 10 blocks up or down Queens Blvd, because she doesn't understand the bus system and doesn't want to take the time to do so).

So, as the story goes, my colleague and a bunch of riders at a bus stop in Queens got on an already crowded bus and the only empty seat was being occupied by a box of donuts. So, one of the women who boarded the train with my colleague politely asked the man sitting next to the box of donuts if he would please move it so that she could sit down. "No" he replied. "Did you pay $5 for your box to sit there," she responded. "No, but I'm not moving it," he huffed. At this point, all the other riders on the bus were calling out to the bus driver for help and he too asked the rider to move his box of donuts, only to be told, "no" by this horrible man. By this point, the other riders were conspiring to take the box of donuts and start eating them. Me? I probably would have opened the nearest window and thrown the box of donuts out of it, or, better yet, sat ont he box of donuts. And farted.

In the end, the bus driver wound up stopping the bus and pulling over and telling the man that unless he moved his box of donuts he would not continue driving. Reluctantly, the man finally moved his box of donuts.

I listened to this story in horror, growing angrier each time this man refused to move his box of donuts. What is with some people? And where do they get their sense of self-entitelment from? Unreal.

As I was drafting this post on the subway ride to work this morning, a middle-aged woman wearing a too-tight shirt that my friend actually purchased from H&M last season and wore as a dress, stood next to where I was sitting and was fubmling in her bag for god knows what and as a result wound up repeatedly hitting my legs with her cheap plastic purse. I tried, unsucessfully, to push the bag away, and was about to throw the bag across the subway car when, luckily for her, she got off the subway.

Song of the moment: "Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da" by the Beatles and the opening of that show with Corkey the retarted kid. They made up a song on ESPN's "Mike & Mike," show the other day using that beat and it's been randomly playing in my head ever since.