Dear, RCN.

Let me begin by saying that I hate you. My boyfriend and I were very excited about the Ravens playing the Steelers last night on Monday Night Football. We, my boyfriend especially, have been looking forward to this game for about a week. Come game time, we sat poised in front of the TV, football food (wings, mozzarella sticks, chicken poppers - alllllllll the healthy stuff) in hand only to discover that the TV WAS NOT WORKING PROPERLY. The picture and sound were choppy causing us to miss plays and commentary. We checked other channels and discovered that this was happening on EVERY channel. I immediately called your technicians to find out what the problem was, but I never got to speak with anyone. In fact, you had me on hold for OVER AN HOUR!!!!! telling me again and again how much you appreciate my patience, which I was quickly running out of, until you finally played an automated message informing me that NY and DC customers are experiencing problems and you are working to fix them, blah blah blah. Still, I waited on the line to discuss this problem with you further and find out why in god's name you kept me on hold for so long.

However, as we headed into halftime, I realized you were never going to answer my call, so, defeated, I hung up. The TV never returned to normal and the Ravens lost. I blame this on you too.

This morning, I turned on the TV to hear what "Mike & Mike" had to say about the game on ESPN, only to discover that the TV was still not fixed!

So, after I arrived at work this morning, I called you to complain. I was issued a measly $6 + change credit for my interrupted TV service, but when I asked to be compensated for my wasted phone minutes and my wasted time on the phone last night, I was refused. I was even transfered to a manger who was RUDE and kept calling me "ma'am," though I repeatedly told him I was far from a ma'am and that he should address me as "miss." Not surprisingly, this "manager" was anything but helpful and apparently someone higher-up at RCN will call me to discuss this problem further, though I doubt that will get me anywhere.

Anyway, what I am trying to say is that if it weren't for the management of my building forcing me to use RCN, I would switch to Time Warner in a flash. Your customer service sucks, RCN, and so does your technical service for that matter. I think it's time to throw in the towel and sell-out to a bigger, and better company.

All the best,
Subway Gal

Thanks to everyone for taking my last poll! While most of you have had the good fortune of not having to see a man's peen while riding public transportation, four of you said you have, including one person who claims to have punched said peen to teach the guy a lesson. Whoever you four, unfortunate people are, please share you stories with us in the comments below. We (I) are verrrrry curious.

Anyway, I've posted a new poll, so please take it. Thanks!

As I was walking to the subway this evening, I heard a man call out, "Hey Carrot Top!" I looked around expecting to see some poor red-headed kid with major insecurity issues from being the butt of everyone's red-headed jokes all his life, but I didn't see one. Instead, I saw, walking in front of me, a skinny man in, coincidentally, in a red ski cap, looking down and holding hands with a thin blond. Hmmmm, I wondered. Was this actually the Carrot Top in front of me? I quickened my step in order to get a better look at him and saw that it indeed, it was, the red-headed Z-list AT&T freak. What the hell was he doing with a thin, pretty blond? My guess is that she was a struggling "actress" trying to get her "in" into Hollywood by starting at the very bottom. Could she be that desperate? Couldn't she have a little self-respect? I don't know, I can only speculate. But, if I was a wannabe actress I could totally see myself trying to be Carrot Top's girlfriend in hopes of one day being the next Angelina. By the way, did you know Carrot Top is 43?!?! I thought he was in the ballpark of 28-33 years old. I just looked him up online and found that out. Who knew?

Now, as you know, I'm not big on talking politics, but did you see Katie Couric's interview with Sarah Palin? Are you kidding? I mean, the McCain-Palin campaign is actually asking the American people to let this woman be VP?

I've been debating whether I should do this, but I think it's time to come clean. I have something embarrassing to share with you all and I'd appreciate if, after hearing my embarrassing confession, you will keep an open mind and not judge me too harshly.

Last night, I watched the shitastic "One Tree Hill." And cried. I mean, tears streaming, nose sniffling, I went through five tissues, crying. Q died!! He was reformed!! And the cute little kid on the show adored him!! So, you get the point. It was all very sad and tragic and it moved me to tears. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?! I'm human for chrissakes! Yes, I know the actors are terrible and the storylines are incredibly unrealistic, but they sure do know how to do tragedy on that show.

I'm sure you can appreciate how embarrassing this little confession has been and you are probably wondering why I am still watching this show, or maybe even started watching it in the first place. I don't know. I started watching it in college with my roommate and we loved it. And after I graduated, the show began to spiral downward. Especially after we were expected to believe that a bunch of 22 year olds can run their own empires, get full-time teaching jobs in a great school district, run a record company and be famous writer. And, all these super 22 year olds just happen to be friends. Were the show's writers high when creating these storylines? Who knows. But I digress. I've continued to watch this shiteous show out of a sense of loyalty. I feel bad abandoning it after I've stuck with it for this long. But, if the CW unwisely decides to pickup this show for another season, I am done.

New poll. It's a doozy. TAKE IT!!! Thanks :)

Does that headline even make sense? I thought it did in my head, but looking at it on the screen now I'm not so sure. Hmmm. Oh well. Anyway, today my coworker told me that on her way home yesterday she grabbed a salad before getting on the subway, and once on the subway began to eat her salad. She said she thought the people next to her were pissed but she insisted that she was starving, so it was a special circumstance. She asked me my thoughts on the situation and I told her that if I saw someone eating on the subway I would most definitely be giving them evil looks. It especially pisses me off when someone brings Chinese food on the subway and it stinks up the whole car. Know what I'm talking about? It's disgusting. Anyway, I also told her that if I saw her eating on the subway I wouldn't care, and, in fact, I would be giving nasty looks to the people giving her nasty looks. Double standard? Most definitely, but I won't apologize for it. You know you would do the same thing.

So, after all this talk about eating on the subway, you ask, "Subwaygal, why do you have an 'after' photo of Jared the Subway guy attached do this post?" Well, when I typed "eating on a subway" into Google Images I got a bunch of images of this guy, and some of which were his "before" picture. I forgot what he looked like before he went on the Subway diet and he was faaaaaaaaaaat.

BTW, just saw a commercial for the season premier of "Grey's Anatomy" and it looks AMAZING!!! I am sooooooooo excited! The drama is going to be in-tense. I heard that pathetic nurse that Derek hooked up with a few times is pregnant with his child. But fear not! Shonda gave us her word already that Meredith and Derek will be together. Finally!!!

On the way to my apartment this evening, I passed a man passed out on the sidewalk. He didn't appear to be homeless, though who am I to judge, so I'm not sure what he was up to. Was he dead? Was he passed out drunk? I don't know, and apparently no one cares because everyone, including me, just walked passed him. And I live in Queens remember, so strange looking men sleeping on sidewalks is definitely not an every day occurrence. I considered calling the cops, but what would I say? A man is possibly dead or just passed out on the sidewalk? What if I'm jumping to conclusions and he simply wanted to take a nap outside under the stars. I guess we'll never know, but if he's still there in the morning I'm calling the cops.

On the way to my apartment yesterday evening, I passed two large men yelling at each other in front of the new doughnut store in my neighborhood in a language I didn't recognize and punching each other in the head. I'd never seen a real-life brawl before (except the one I was engaged in at a bar my senior year in college over a guy - long story) and I was kinda excited. These two men had drawn quite the crowd when one hit the other and he went down and the other guy went running down the block. With one shoe on. Gotta love the free entertainment.

In an effort to get home faster today after a long day at work, I hopped on the E train across the street from my office. Big mistake. I've said it before and I'll say it again, the E train sucks! I loathe it.

I knew it was gonna be a battle to get home as soon as I walked into the station and saw the platform backed up with several rows of people waiting for the train to arrive. If there were this many people waiting here at the 7th Ave. stop, imagine how many people were waiting at all the stations before us, I wondered. Well, imagine my delight when the train finally arrived and I saw it was packed with people. I just knew that good times were ahead!

Somehow I managed to get on the train and immediately wished I'd had walked the three blocks and one avenue like I usually do and hop on the R train. I was smushed in a sea of dirty New Yorkers. The young man behind me was waaaaaaay too up close and personal with my ass and the woman in front of me kept brushing me in the face, or my outstretched arm, which was desperately reaching for a spot on the germ-infested pole, with her frizzy hair. And to make awful matters worse, I didn't even have room to take out my book and read. All I could do was stare at the roof in grand annoyance.

I was never so happy to see the shady Roosevelet Ave station where I was finally able to leave that hell hole to transfer to the local train. I huffed and puffed and pushed my way out in dramatic fashion, complete with a loud, "UGH!" as I looked back at the train in disgust.

Take the E train? Never again.

I'm not trying to turn this into a fashion blog, but I spotted another fashion disaster this morning on the V train on my way into work that needs to be addressed.

A young Asian woman was wearing a soft, peach-colored sheer blouse, adorned with sequins, which is a problem in and of itself because you should NEVER wear sequins, but we'll save that discussion for another day; a red sweater vest over that heinous blouse; and a pair of black pin-striped pants. To complete the disastrous look, she was carrying a purple-colored bag.

Now I understand that it's not unusual to see different cultures rocking out in odd outfits, but I'm pretty sure this young lady was on her way to work and that is not an appropriate outfit to wear. In public. I'm still baffled as to what made this chick think her outfit matched and looked good. Who knows? Maybe she was going for the "fashion victim" look. . .

Every Tuesday evening I attend my fave abs class at my gym. Before my class is a cardio dance class. The teacher (who also teaches my abs class) is an amaaaaaaaazing dancer. Like I mean really good. I used to be a dancer, cheerleader and gymnast and I couldn't keep up with her routines. I tried on three separate occasions. I actually stopped even attempting to take the class because I was so embarrassed with myself and my poor performance. Annnnnnnyway, if I get to my abs class early, which I did today, I watch the end of the dance class and I noticed that all the participants in today's class (the regulars) were really good. They had the routine down and they were all pretty good dancers. Except for one hot mess.

This one woman is particularly awful. I actually noticed her in last week's class and thought that it must have been her first time taking the class and once she realized how awful she really is, she won't come back. But she did. And, I think she got even worse!

Before I tell you about this woman's awful dancing, let me paint a picture for you so you know what you're dealing with. . .
Age: 40-55
Body Type: Tall and flabby with a big ole fat stomach
Outfit: black SPANDEX leggings and a short, black tee shirt that did not, I repeat, did not cover her big ole fat stomach AT ALL when she lifted her arms.

I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt and assume that she doesn't own any mirrors; and is partially blind; and has no husband, kids or close friends, or maybe just mean friends, because no one who likes you would let you leave the house looking like that. Now on to the dancing, or, lack thereof . . .

Bottom line, this chick did not know the routine at all. Yes, the class is tough, but if all the other participants could do it, then you should be able to as well. But what made her dancing attempts even worse was that I think she thought she knew the dance because she was flailing her arms around and spinning in the wrong direction and flexing her toes instead of pointing them and bending her arms when they should be straight. I could go on and on, but you get the picture. She was just awful! I wanted to laugh, but it just made me so angry instead. "WHY are you being like this?!," I wanted to scream in her face as I grabbed both her shoulders and shook her. But instead I just watched in horror with my mouth open, forming a small o as if saying, "noooooooooooo."

Anyway, Crazy Lady, if you're reading this. Dancing is not for you. Stop coming to this class and find a new hobby before I have you arrested for public indecency.

Song of the moment: Obviously, "She's a Maniac" from Flashdance, which leads me to the reasoning behind the picture. I typed Flashdance into Google Images, fully intending to use a photo of that chick in the movie doing her crazy dances in her leg warmers, but, I saw this picture and just couldn't resist. I mean, come on. Can you blame me? It's great. Words can't even describe.

HAPPY FRIDAY, EVERYONE!!

I know it's only my first week back at work after a nice, long vacation (layoff), and I technically only had to work three days this week, so I haven't exactly been dying all week waiting for Friday to arrive, but its' exciting nonetheless.

Anyway, I have exciting news! . . .
I reached my goal of more than 20 people taking my latest poll!!! As you may remember, I have been unable to reach that over 20 mark so far, always just coming in under, and now that I've made it, this is quite the milestone. I think I'll celebrate by getting drunk tonight! After my boyfriend and I have dinner with his grandparents. I try to keep up the appearance of mature, sophisticated young woman around them.

In case you are wondering about the poll results, apparently the vast majority of you claim that you would gladly give up your seat on the subway to an old or pregnant person. I think you are lying. I'm going to post a new poll soon, so please take that one too. Let's try to hit the 25 mark this time!

Have a good weekend,
SG

. . . those people stuck in the middle seats on subways who don't move over once one of the people next to them has gotten up. I know that sometimes it's a waste because if the train is packed, there is a damn good chance that two people will be engaged in a brawl fighting for that seat before it's previous owner is even off the subway car. But sometimes the car is pretty empty and you can move over knowing that no one else needs a seat. I was faced with one such situation on my way home this evening. This sorta-old woman, who was getting on my nerves to begin with because she was sitting with her elbows out and invading my personal space, sitting in the middle seat next to me refused to move over when the person on her other side got up. And what's worse is that the seats across from us were completely empty. She had plenty of places to go. Now, I know you're thinking, "Why the hell didn't you get up you lazy shi*t?" Well, I'll tell you why. Because I WAS THERE FIRST. I wasn't going to budge based on principle. And because I wasn't really that bothered by the woman. I was just confused as to why she wouldn't move. Anyway, don't get distracted. That is not the point of this post. The point is that she should have moved! Maybe she had a crush on me and was enjoying being so close to me while working up the courage to ask me for my number. Or maybe she was just oblivious. Probably the latter.

Song of the moment: "After Tonight" by Justin Nozuka. Love love love this song. So good. If you haven't heard it yet, check it out!

Today was my first day back riding the subway with all the disgusting NY rush-hour commuters. I was a bit disappointed when I entered the station this morning and instead of greeting me with balloons, low-fat muffins and a large cup of iced coffee (skim milk, two sugars), the subway attendant didn't even glance up at me when I walked by. However, I did receive a nice gift of a drama-free commute to work this morning, and that is certainly something to be thankful for.

Now, on the way home? Not so peaceful. Well, for once, I won't exaggerate. It wasn't awful. It was decent. Except for this annoyingly gangly, what I assume was a teen boy, (I refused to look up from my book) who took the middle seat next to me. He sat with his long, skinny legs unnecessarily spread apart and his head in his hands looking all "I'm so exhausted from skateboarding all day." Why do I assume he was skateboarding? Because he smelled. It was gross and I was worried it would stick to me (can that actually happen???). Anyway, I was all minding my own business and squishing myself against the end of the bench because this gross young man kept bumping me with his legs and once even with his head. So unnecessary! I mean, I know this isn't a huge deal, but it never needed to happen in the first place. This kid should have been courteous and noticed his space limitations and sat accordingly; know what I'm saying?

Totally unrelated, but I'm thinking of changing the names of my kitties from Titan and Zeus to Jack Daniels and Grey Goose. One is all black and the other his grey and white. Get it? Whaddya think? I know my boyfriend (the kitties' father) will never go for this change, but I thought I'd throw it out there anyway.

Song of the moment: "Dust in the Wind" by Will Ferrell. Yea, you heard me. Will Ferrell. Not Knasas and not The Eagles. Will Ferrell in "Old School." One of the BEST. MOVIES. EVER. You're my boy Blue!

This morning, I journeyed home on the LIRR to spend some quality time (Quality time meaning my mom the hairdresser dying my hair and then shopping with my mom and sis before I allowed my dad to drive me all the way back to Queens later in the day.) with the fam on LI. I waited in the Forest Hills LIRR station and when the train finally arrived, a few minutes late, only one door would open. Everyone was looking around all confused and I ran up to the one open door and got aboard, because even though the rest of the doors would eventually open, I didn't want to risk it. I guess around this point the conductors started noticing a problem and I saw two of them starting to manually open and close the doors. They were actually taking way too long and at this point I thought I might miss my train that I need to transfer to at Jamaica. So, as the large, balding, pale conductor was walking towards me, I asked if the other trains will wait for us at Jamaica if we are late, because I was in serious danger of missing my transfer. "We aren't transferring," he gruffly replied. WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? I checked the schedule the night before and I was sure that I could pick up the Ronkonkoma train in Jamaica eight minutes after my train was scheduled to arrive. At this point I started to panic because I have no idea where this train would take me or how I would get home because when I tried to call my family, no one answered the phone. But then I heard the same conductor announce to the train, "Next stop Jamaica!" WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? Didn't the same a**hole just rudely tell me that this train wasn't making a transfer at Jamaica? When I spotted him again I thought I'd try to clear up the situation. "Hi," I said. "I just heard the announcement that we are going to Jamaica, but you told me the train wouldn't be stopping there to transfer." "Yes, I made the announcement," he said, "and we aren't connecting with any trains at Jamaica." "But," I tried again, "I checked the schedule and it said I could catch the Ronkonkoma train at Jamaica." He replied rudely saying something along the lines of, "too bad." To this, I shouted out, "Thanks for you help. I'm calling your supervisor!!!!" "Go ahead," the fat, bald moron called back at me, with a stupid smirk on his face and his arms wide open in what I assume was supposed to be a threatening manner. I was flabbergasted (isn't that a fun word?). I couldn't believe this was happening.

When we arrived at Jamaica I ran up to a station manager and asked when the next train to Ronkonkoma was. She replied, "Next on this track." "WHAT?!?!?!," I asked in shocked annoyance. "NEXT ON THIS TRACK!," a very annoyed young man standing behind me shouted back at me.

Anyway, as you can imagine, I was livid at this point and asked not one, but two LIRR workers for the LIRR main phone number, so I could call and complain of course, and wouldn't you know, neither one knew. Lucky for me, a nearby passenger had the number and gave it to me. I called, but unfortunately I must wait until morning to complain, and complain I will. Justice will be served!

LIRR = Completely Incompetent

So, in case you haven't noticed, Subway Gal has been without work for the past few weeks and finally she has found a great new job! Surely you don't care, so why am I telling you this? Because it means great, new subway stories coming soon! When I was without work, I didn't venture out too much during the day because I was busy doing the out-of-work-and-super-lazy thing, but starting mid-next week I'll be riding the subway again during those horrible rush hours with all the other tired, sweaty New Yorkers. yay.

Song of the moment: "I Guess That's Why They Call it the Blues" by Sir Elton John. I f*cking love this song!!! Although, I do think the version he does with my favorite Billy Joel is even more kick ass!

Totally unrelated to the subway, I know, but the new "90210" premiere last night has been getting a lot of buzz lately and I think it's only fair that we devote one day to discussing it.

Overall, I liked it, but didn't love it. Why didn't I love it, you ask? For a few reasons, I think. Such as - the kids are so young!!!! Maybe I'm just getting old, but I remember the original "90210" and I thought those guys all looked super old for high school (turns out they all were!). This cast looks almost appropriate for high school kids, but it also puts me a little out of touch with them. Also, some of the writing and acting was a bit over-the-top and unrealistic. For instance, Dixon (who I loved as a bad-ass survivor with a heart of gold on "The Wire") is super-cheesy! He's so polite to his parents, even after his dad punished him! I don't know about you, but when I was younger and used to fight with my parents, it was usually an all-out war ending me with me storming out of the house and driving around the block until I got bored.

That being said, I think the show has potential. I mean, there are a lot of stories out there that need to be developed and will turn into big storylines down the road, such as the deal with Dixon's adoption and Rob Estes' (a.k.a. the new Mr. Walsh) bastard child with an ex that was given up for adoption years ago, unbeknkownst to him. Also, the show began with "Viva La Vida" playing in the background and you all know that I love that song, so that gives the show some extra points too.

In conclusion, I am going to continue tuning in for now and see how the show develops. Your thoughts???

The other day in the subway station I saw a poster for Joshua Jackson's (a.k.a Pacey) new show on Fox and I'm really happy for him because he is extremely good looking and a face like his needs to be on a screen and adored my millions nationwide.

Anyway, seeing that poster got me thinking about 10 years ago and a great little show called, "Dawson's Creek" and the "star of the show" curse that followed Dawson himself, James Van Der Beek, after the show. Everyone got big except him. Sure, he did that movie "Varsity Blues" but what was he really known for after that? Nothing. Katie Holmes is doing her "married to Tom Curise" thing and Michelle Williams is doing the "Heath Ledger widow" thing and now Joshua Jackson is trying to break back onto the TV scene. And poor James VDB is doing nothing. Well, actually, according to IMDb, he has two movies coming up, but they don't have any big names in them, so they are sure to bomb. This same thing happened with "Blossom," though I don't think anyone from that show got big afterwards. Anyway, there are more examples out there, but I can't think of them right now because my brain has shut down for the evening.

I'm not big into talking/debating politics because those who like to usually yell a lot and scare me and, frankly, I don't know enough about what is going on to intelligently debate a hardcore political nut.

That being said, can you guys believe the news that broke this weekend? Republican VP nominee Sarah' Palin's daughter is preggers?!?!? I swear, this election is turning out to be better than an episode of "One Life to Live" or "General Hospital!"

Song of the moment: "In Love With a Girl" by Gavin Degraw because I happen to love this song. And because I think Gavin Degraw is extremely sexy.

Late Friday evening, my boyfriend and I were strolling home from the movie theater in our neighborhood in Queens when we noticed a young man in an all-white suit. Odd, we thought. But then we passed another man in a white suit. And then another. WTF??, we wondered. Well, since our neighborhood is mostly populated by Eastern European Jews, my boyfriend figured it might be religious-related. Maybe, but I've got a little Jewish blood in me and I can't recall any Jewish tradition requiring all men to wear all-white suits on Fridays. But then again, I'm certainly no Jewish religion expert, so what do I know?

Anyway, I figured it might just be some big, all-white themed family party (similar to the party Diddy hosts in the Hamptons each year) that one of our neighbors was having. Either way, can my Jewish friends out there help me out and explain this white suit situation to me. And while we are on the topic, WHY WHITE SUITS??? So cliche, doncha think? I mean, I don't know about you, but there's something about seeing a man in an all-white suit that makes me want to jump up screaming, "STAYING ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE" and start strutting down the street while pointing and winking at people.

Song of the moment. Duh. "Staying Alive" by the Bee Gees.